tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post7276146203439518862..comments2024-02-06T14:09:50.207+11:00Comments on .:Too Much, Not Enough:.: Get Me Out of My HeadBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07544398450025713725noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-1275772198516661162016-07-09T03:20:18.152+10:002016-07-09T03:20:18.152+10:00I know that I've been putting my two cents in ...I know that I've been putting my two cents in for a while now, but I care about you and hope that you will be kind to yourself, not assume your mom doesn't not, think you should hurt yourself. There's a world out there that I think you should get well and see. I hurt for you and I wish you could see what all of us do. Lots of love dear. Evehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14696430167877128240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-51250251181384779962016-07-06T18:32:31.102+10:002016-07-06T18:32:31.102+10:00comment reply:
i think that's the funny thing...comment reply:<br /><br />i think that's the funny thing about me.<br /><br />*sits at home all day watching and reads and follows rubbish with the most offensive, dry jokes possible*<br />*goes out and talks to people in Arabic with no filter. his mates know Percy as "brutal but honest"*<br />*makes racist jokes to people and tells sister, "it's okay. everyone's a little racist" to which Ginny protests and denies*<br />*sister Ginny literally thinks that Percy is heartless and unemotional and is visibly surprised a the slightest show of emotions.* <br /><br />*...goes on social media*<br />"i'm sorry if i offended you by saying that i love you :(*<br /><br />^ aye. in real life, i am actually pretty ruthless. this apparently only applies if you're Asian (including Middle Easterns). i believe this is probably because every time i talk to someone that's foreign, i have to use a touch of a butterfly because there's no knowing who i'd offend. i believe after hearing 500 people say "that's sexist/that's stereotypical/that's homophobic/that's cold/that's cruel/how dare you" then it became habitual to be overly cautious to prevent a lash-out. now it's become habitual for me to do everything with the touch of a butterfly even if i know you can handle a lot more. in real life, beyond weight-related comments, i generally deflect everything else like a shield. i think the most recent irl lash-out is a relative saying that i must think so highly of myself because i'm a medical student and that i've become so arrogant. i thought that it was funny. <br /><br />somehow, put that behind a keyboard in a foriegner's hand and i will seem to find it worse than it is. which is weird!<br /><br />I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.<br /><br />i still can't believe you had a Haemophilus influenzae exacerbation. that is literally something out of my textbooks. "causes COPD exacerbations."<br /><br />it's almost as bad as that one time that i mentally diagnosed someone with appendicitis based on what i overheard from a phone-call, then my aunt happened to mention the case a few hours later and said it was appendicitis. it was freaky... and beyond brilliant!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />-Sam LupinSam Lupinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12704442793403106405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-16415051630131532872016-07-06T06:00:38.724+10:002016-07-06T06:00:38.724+10:00Bella, I wish I could wrap you up in a hug and mak...Bella, I wish I could wrap you up in a hug and make all of this stop. You are far too beautiful and gentle to be treating yourself like that. You deserve so much more than all of this abuse. Like Ruby said, that's the hard thing about meeting people online. I wish I could just fly out to Australia and spend time with you and show you how truly special you are. I'm always here.<br />XOXO KatieKatie Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04593566837532308985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-92012485047559660902016-07-05T13:16:08.725+10:002016-07-05T13:16:08.725+10:00I'm terribly sorry things are still so hard ri...I'm terribly sorry things are still so hard right now. <br />I don't know if this helps at all, but I've noticed that even when taking some days off any "mind medicine," (whether anti-depressants or whatever) I always have lots of self-harm thoughts even though I don't self-harm. Then after a few days, the thoughts seem to go away even without starting the meds again. I think it just has to do with the sudden shift in brain chemicals. So even with the struggle, it is still worth doing what you are doing and staying off synthetics. I'm so so glad you've stuck with the "detox" off of them. It may just take extra time for the brain chemicals to readjust and then the urges may lessen.<br />Wishing you the best!❤️Lydihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05542134628947849898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-83984841849031363732016-07-05T02:52:37.745+10:002016-07-05T02:52:37.745+10:00I'm so sorry that you're going through suc...I'm so sorry that you're going through such a tough time still. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, if there's anything I can do, please reach out. Sending love and hugs xxxxxxxxxAngharad https://www.blogger.com/profile/03276065419684298280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-84760955753049397852016-07-05T02:12:28.527+10:002016-07-05T02:12:28.527+10:00Holy crap you've had a rough several days. I&...Holy crap you've had a rough several days. I'm so sorry you're struggling with all of this. I can relate so much to the self harm mind-set. I don't often talk about it though because people who don't also struggle with it have the tendency to think I'm just totally bat-shit crazy. (I kind of am, but that's not the point) While I hate that you suffer, I'm grateful that you share it here.<br /><br />Your dog is freaking adorable.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00957669670882585052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-52360339074066461312016-07-05T01:17:15.772+10:002016-07-05T01:17:15.772+10:00"She was of little help. I asked if she could..."She was of little help. I asked if she could give me an extra PRN oxazepam, or even something different, just for a week or two while I work all of the synthetic crap out of my system, but she said to make do with what I have. Basically, keep on cutting, and they'll keep patching me up." this infuriates me. it really does. like i said before, i really vouch for the whole increasing-your-dosage-give-you-a-sedative thing, but it seems like they're, like stated before, just avoiding the actual problem and just trying to patch up symptoms. which frustrates me. this is not going to help you any, and it's so evident that you're struggling so much and they aren't doing bollocks about it.<br /><br />aye, i think with smoking, drinking, drugs, etc - it's like... once you've cut them up, you've to sober up to... what's actually there, the thing that made you go to those things in the first place. and that's not an easy predicament for anyone, especially with how things are for you... i can't imagine how difficult it is, but as Lolita said, i hope you can pull out of this. we're vouching for you. 100%.<br /><br />as you know, i'm bloody proud of you! for doing that xxx this is a cause for celebration and it makes me very pleased to hear that. <br /><br />"As it tends to happen, though, one coping mechanism is quickly replaced by others." aye, i know what you mean with this, and i'm worried for this. do you have any other older coping mechanisms you can try that are not self-destructive? i know it's not like you can switch that part of your mind off, but it's always worth trying because i hate hate hate seeing you suffer like this. and i hate that you have to resort to harming yourself to feel any better. it should never be like that.<br /><br />i am so proud of you for doing the thing with the hypertensive medication. i know it must've been the hardest thing for you to do in that minute, and it just further infuriates me that nobody's doing anything about the issue itself. they're just managing symptoms thus far and expect you to do this all out on your own. your current regimen for meds they aren't helping dull the most of it out, as they should. which annoys me deeply.<br /><br />like i said before, i find that with a lot of people i know with issues - just changing/increasing combinations of certain antidepressants helps. and i know there was a time where the GP was all for that but now she isn't and it's annoying me. you shouldn't be feeling like this. nobody deserves this, and especially not you.<br /><br />i think i've ranted about this 3 times now. oops.<br /><br />by the way, i am happy every single day you are alive. i am very very grateful to have you around. you're pretty special.<br /><br />and i remember that day with the mum, i'm just - i'm happy i was there at lest to some degree. i hope i helped a little bit. i'm just - i'm so sorry that you had to resort to that. that it was that bad. it shouldn't ever be this bad.<br /><br />i do have to say though i am very interested in trying one of these sausage things... hmmm.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />-Sam LupinSam Lupinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12704442793403106405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-77327209635266725282016-07-05T00:52:38.563+10:002016-07-05T00:52:38.563+10:00I want you to know that I did read both posts. I d...I want you to know that I did read both posts. I don't really have any words in regards to the severity of everything, except that I hope you can pull out of this. The cutting down on synthetics deserves a mention too, and I'm proud of you for that.<br /><br />I had considered extracts in coffee before you suggested it but never tried it. That night I tried almond in coffee with stevia and it was bloody awful. And no, I can't get financial help with them because even without my meagre wage, Jack earns too much for us to get free prescriptions- even though we struggle with the bills as is. I'm trying to stay out of my own head but it's damned hard, as you know.<br /><br />I love you. Sorry I don't really have any more words today. <3 xxxLolitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16562544481375725023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-90511171303171097602016-07-04T19:43:24.932+10:002016-07-04T19:43:24.932+10:00Oh Bella
Dear sweet Bella
You are struggling so ha...Oh Bella<br />Dear sweet Bella<br />You are struggling so hard <br />That is so evident reading this<br />I worry for you<br />I really do<br />This compulsion to hurt yourself seems so strong <br />And I know that feeling so well<br />I used to drive my car at top speed <br />Hoping I would crash<br />However<br />I am so glad to read you have stopped smoking synthetics <br />That is amazing <br />You should be so proud of yourself <br />I'm sorry<br />But that stuff is pure muck<br />You don't need that in your life<br />So I really hope you manage to stay off it <br /><br />I'm sure like a lit of readers <br />I feel helpless and powerless to do anything that will ease your pain<br />That's the thing about blogger <br />And meeting people on line <br />You can only do so much <br />Write a few words <br />And send love and hope their way <br />So Bella <br />Please try to stay safe<br />I know it's futile to say that in the face of what your dealing with <br />But please <br />At the very least <br />Just don't hurt yourself any more than you have <br /><br />I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers <br />And hope that some day <br />You will find the strength to pull yourself out of this <br />I love you Bella<br />And All this was written out of love and concern<br />But I think you know that <br /><br />Thinking of you <br />And sending you love, hope and courage<br />Take care friend xRuby Tuesdayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15078080281794429051noreply@blogger.com