tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post8371059960120534243..comments2024-02-06T14:09:50.207+11:00Comments on .:Too Much, Not Enough:.: Hospital RamblingsBellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07544398450025713725noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-48026424540868472802014-06-15T19:12:30.170+10:002014-06-15T19:12:30.170+10:00Dear Bella,
I just found your Blog some minutes a...Dear Bella,<br /><br />I just found your Blog some minutes ago, but its very gripping. I love the way you write and I think I will read some of your older posts today.<br /><br />To be honest, I'm also shocked by your story.<br /> I also have an eating disorder, but I'm recovering and I'm much better now. At the moment, anorexia is not such a big problem for me anymore, but I self harm often.<br />I've never been, this skinny, but I think that's not the point. The point is, I understand how hard it is to eat.<br />I'm also someone, who always says "It's not that bad", but honestly it is bad. It's horrible, that we do this to ourselves, because we deserve better. <br />I don't really know why I write to you, I just want you to know, that you have a wonderful style of writing and I wanted to tell you, that I wish you good luck so you'll feel better soon.<br /><br />Oh and it's so cute, there's someone who play's the harp for you in the hospital, I love the sound of harps.<br /><br />I hope my english isn't incredible bad, <br />I'm from germany and I understand a lot in english, but when I'm writing something by myself, my teachers are just like: Are you kidding me?<br /><br />Please don't give up on you :)<br /><br />LeaPhönixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02033989792927356105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-91421496815978286612014-06-11T16:24:45.582+10:002014-06-11T16:24:45.582+10:00OMG Bella! *hugs!* I'm so sorry to hear this, ...OMG Bella! *hugs!* I'm so sorry to hear this, I'm just glad you're being taken care of! I hope you get well soon! But I know it's not that simple, especially when you feel like things are so hopeless. But you can't give up, and I know you won't give up! You're a fighter! If you ever need to talk don't hesitate to contact me. Take care and once again get well soon!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-71667775373819153162014-06-11T08:02:37.026+10:002014-06-11T08:02:37.026+10:00aye. aye. i think we both made each other sad by b...aye. aye. i think we both made each other sad by being sad. bad. i love you. you take care of yourself, alright? x<br />you don 't want to wrap me up in blankets shhhhhhh it's 36 degrees C atm. and it's 1 am so...you can only imagine what horror waits for me in the morning. oh yes, crying is very cathartic. it does make me sad that i can't cry anymore. <br />"I know you don't feel able to write right now, but even still, you have a beautiful way with words." thank you. this makes me smile. know that you made a person smile today angel. x<br />also, smut is the best kind of thing to write. ;3<br />"P.S, the picture you sent make me cackle, like an evil witch's cackle. I love it (and I love you)" make that a double smile xxxx<br /><br />you're amazing. i love you too (and your piercings, considering they are practically a part of you) xxx<br /><br />-Sam LupinSam Lupinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12704442793403106405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-49591011997036985612014-06-11T00:08:35.384+10:002014-06-11T00:08:35.384+10:00Thinking of you lots dear Bells
You are so special...Thinking of you lots dear Bells<br />You are so special and so precious<br />And you are loved<br /><br />Take good care of you and love the photos x Ruby Tuesdayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15078080281794429051noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-47167163751600458192014-06-10T18:02:16.087+10:002014-06-10T18:02:16.087+10:00you are allowed to punch me in the face for this o...you are allowed to punch me in the face for this one. i'm so so sorry. it's just that i thought of you *for obvious reasons*.<br />http://theawkwardyeti.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/TakemyBreathAway.png<br /><br />-Sam LupinSam Lupinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12704442793403106405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-64620824982445342822014-06-10T10:29:57.893+10:002014-06-10T10:29:57.893+10:00'm happy to hear that you opened up a little t...'m happy to hear that you opened up a little to people, even if the depression is holding on strong. My mom is in pastoral care, and even if you're not religious, it can be nice to talk to someone. I hope you get better soon. Love you so much hon. <3PrettyLieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14074616303471229792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-54066573523008360442014-06-10T07:32:26.291+10:002014-06-10T07:32:26.291+10:00Bella! I'm so sorry you're in the hospita...Bella! I'm so sorry you're in the hospital! Thank you for your encouraging words... can you send me an email with your address so I can send you real mail (by the time it arrives, you will be home, I think) sshoemaker@hotmail.com my dear... <br /><br />Feel better and please do what they say to help heal you up quick!désespérée de maigrirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02317437591022451978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-44030938694674233492014-06-10T05:53:09.368+10:002014-06-10T05:53:09.368+10:00Love you Bella, love you so much. Please please g...Love you Bella, love you so much. Please please get better soon <3 Angharad https://www.blogger.com/profile/03276065419684298280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-79809392466342794072014-06-09T18:28:32.314+10:002014-06-09T18:28:32.314+10:00i'm hoping she'd see you soon. i know you ...i'm hoping she'd see you soon. i know you don't believe it from what i've read from your posts but i feel the need to clarify: 1) you deserve to be treated well, 2) you are not a broken record. and it really makes me sad when i hear people say that. 3) i hope you don't feel guilty. there's nothing to be guilty about. x <br />it is always that bad. that's what i learned. the body and life can take a lot before it breaks, simultaneously - it is so fragile that you die in your sleep. you're alive for a reason. that i believe entirely.<br />"Part of me is a disappointed that I'm not really sick, like dying sick." don't even go there, my love. you're sick enough to send me into a panic. i can't think of how high your temperature was without getting physically sick. people care, honey. people do. we all really do want you to get better. it's hard to, honestly. i'm glad you're making steps towards helping yourself. mood changes. as permanent as it feels. it changes. don't do anything you'd regret if you weren't clear in the head. depression is exhausting. but you need to hold on. it's not going to stay here forever, because you weren't depressed forever. that's my logic. <br />that rabbit is cute. x but not as cute as you. <br />"I opened up about a lot of things, so that was unexpected considering I'd only met her twice before." i'm very proud of you. very proud. <br />that harpist sounds niiiiiice.<br />i like my coffee the same way i like my women - milky and sweet. and not bitter at all. <br />take care of yourself, Bella. it sounds like it's been one hell of a week. hold on, angel. hold on. if not for yourself, for everyone else. there's more than one person wanting to see you get out of this. why? because you deserve to get out of this. <br /><br />-Sam LupinSam Lupinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12704442793403106405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5606734429657625929.post-74057722119255869932014-06-09T18:28:18.144+10:002014-06-09T18:28:18.144+10:00ah. this is a post where i had to open a new tab j...ah. this is a post where i had to open a new tab just to be able to read and comment on as i go on. mmmhmm.<br />you mean the world to me as well. you're an angel to me :3<br />i'm glad you're getting better though. that's the important thing for me. i'm sad you had to stay at the hospital for a week. that makes me panic and worry about my beautiful, Bella. no more, m'dear! <br />i hope you're well. take care of yourself. and you know this is coming: stop smoking so much.<br />"It's scary how quickly my strength declined - both in walking and breathing." it's scary how it can decline and increase so quickly. yes. the body is a wonderful machine. but it can only take so much abuse hurling at it.<br />"I'm dreading having to start exercising again, starting back at square one, unable to keep up for even 15 minutes." oh, that happens to me when i miss one exercise session. i'm so weak and unable to adapt. i can sort of adapt to what i'm doing but mostly, i just sit down on the ground like a fish out of water. i am one of the most physically unfit people i have ever met and no amount of exercise has changed that.<br />endurance can be built. remember that. what is lost can be found, what is found can be lost. cycle of life and all that jazz. you just have to tell yourself if what you're looking for is worth it. and no 2-4 hour exercise session, crazy girl.<br />"After being sick these past couple of months, I feel more motivated than ever to get this weight off." you'll hear this from me nagging at you: you don't have any weight to take off. nope. bad girl.<br />"Some meals have been total disasters, where I take one look at the tray and end up curling up in a ball crying my eyes out for hours because I just can't do it." aw, my darling. this breaks my heart. you know that, don't you? i'm sad that you felt this way, my gorgeous. you don't eat enough and it's always been eating at me. i want nothing more for you than to be eat well, but i know that you can't right now. i'll just hope you'll get back to eating well at some point in time. i love you, you know that? <br />it killed me to read that entire paragraph about self-harming and whatnot. don't. just don't. and i'm sorry you're feeling anxious. i do have to say - i'm very proud of you for not doing anything. i am very proud of you. <br /><br />-Sam Lupin (comment is too big i'll write another one)<br />Sam Lupinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12704442793403106405noreply@blogger.com