Things have been hectic since I last posted. Everything's coming down to the crunch, and I have exactly two weeks until the family home transfers over to the new owners.
I've currently got two applications in for houses, and am working myself into a tizzy trying to sort out loans, setting up, and hiring movers, plus still packing up the last few bits and pieces. I looked at three places earlier this week, plus went to two shops to get prices on secondhand whitegoods and furniture (all split across two days).
I did find the perfect place, not long after I last posted. I went to an inspection the day after it was listed, and sent in an application... but didn't get it. Now I'm looking at places in the not-so-nice neighbourhoods (to put it politely). The big problem is that I'll be too far away for my GP to walk with me to get to appointments. My psych has said she can do home visits, at least to start. But my GP and dietician?
"Well, I'm sure we can organize something every couple of months."
I really need to get one of the places I've applied for. I'm quickly running out of time, and everywhere my team have inquired with have been hopeless with finding emergency accommodation.
It's been hard, to say the least. A few weeks ago I had two breakdowns that resulted in ambulances taking me to emergency for assessments. My psych has also gone away for the month, which is the worst timing, so I have little support during all this change. When I last saw her a couple of weeks ago, we did a safety plan to help me deal with crises. It was very depressing. My only Reasons to Live were Billy (my 15 year old dog) and not wanting to die fat.
My lips got a little too lose after a few drinks last week. I admitted to a paracetamol overdose I took over a month ago, and hadn't told a soul about at the time. It scared me, not necessarily because of the overdose itself, but because I didn't ask for help. I didn't care what happened. I took more than what nearly killed my liver back in February, but in the end I was fine. I also admitted to having quite a large stash, which was subsequently taken to the pharmacy to be destroyed.
On the upside, I did get some good news. In the last few months, my team have been working on applying to the NDIS, to get more support and funding. I wasn't expecting to be approved, but two weeks ago I got a letter saying my application had been successful. I still need to wait for a plan to be sorted out, but hopefully it will lead to something good.
For now, I am off to spend yet another day packing and sorting. Keep your fingers crossed that next time I post, I will be living in my own place.
 |
 |
I am so glad that the application went through!
ReplyDeleteMoving can be a real bitch, but it also gives you the opportunity to empty out a lot of crap. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you will find the apartment you want!
Congrats on the application going through successfully!!! You need to remind yourself of the pros vs cons. I'm not sure what triggers your suicidal tendencies, but assume it's due to being overwhelmed and/or broken inside from a pile of BS.
ReplyDeleteWhen you say you were scared because you didn't want help, reminded me of the last time I overdosed. Dont remember, but alledgelly fought the EMS and I know exactly why. Because that night I was accepting of death. Reading you having that same experience hurts. That's pain I wish upon nobody. You're going to have an environmental change coming up, Misty kitty is an adorable ball o' fluff, and now's your chance to decide what would make you happy and money in life. Instead of why, how and when to end it.
Stay stromg, and remind yourself of me when you get manic (?). You'll be on my thoughts.