I should explain, as I was never crystal clear on how-why-what happened last time. Sometimes, when I feel the urge to hurt myself, I try not to. So (and this has happened twice), I decided jumping up and down on the spot would be a good alternative to try. Not a bad idea, until the third or fourth jump, when my foot gives out and I topple over in agony. Basically, when I landed, my arch was forced flat. Yes, that is as painful as it sounds.
I was certain it was a sprained arch, though my family wanted me to get it checked out just in case. So, yesterday I saw my GP. She came to get me, saw the crutches, and just said "Oh dear... Looks like you've got another story to tell me."
She checked over my foot, and I told her it felt exactly the same as the last sprain. My arch is bruised, and touches the floor when I rest my foot flat. I can't put weight on it, nor wiggle my toes, and it aches like mad. She strapped it and gave me anti-inflammatories, plus a script for stronger painkillers. She didn't do an x-ray, because it's such a similar injury to last time, though it reminded me that I still need to book my bone density scan.
She also mentioned that she wants to start keeping a closer eye on my blood pressure since there's growing concern over my weight, so she'll be popping in to my dietician appointments on Tuesday mornings to check it. The dietician mentioned it this week, and asked if my GP could come in to check it, but I said I felt fine and we left it for next week.
She did say it was a good idea to try jumping up and down as a self-harm alternative, but evidently it's not an alternative, just a different method. She suggested I try a rubber band around my wrist instead (how cliché). We don't really talk about self-harm unless I have an injury like this that needs tending to; she doesn't know about methods or frequency or anything. The thing that irritates me the most is that I was really trying not to hurt myself, but did anyway.
It's ridiculous, these injuries I'm ending up with, and it's no one's fault but my own. And so I'm back on crutches, which is incredibly frustrating, not to mention exhausting and painful. The bruise from my last sprained arch only faded a few weeks ago. My first thought was that I'm obviously heavy enough to cause such an injury. Why does everything come back to weight?
So, my plans of sewing and leaving the house have been slightly skewed. There's not a chance I'm going out on crutches. With any luck, I'll be off them within a week. I can sew with my good foot, but everything just became 10x more exhausting, and I still have the motivation of a sloth. Everything feels foggy, blurred, like I can't think clearly enough to do anything.
Thank you all for your comments on my hair. I forgot to mention: even though it's so long, it only needed one pack of dye because it's thinned out so much. I used to need two once it got past my shoulders. There's always a silver lining, I guess.