Saturday, 24 October 2015

Bella Goes Out!

This week I ended up having an unexpected trip out. My brother needed a lift to the airport on short notice, and mum, who loves to drive, offered to take him. I haven't been feeling overly safe home alone lately, so I decided to tag along.

Initially I was just going to stay in the car, but then I decided I'd try to get in to the shops. I've been really wanting to go out for a simple cup of coffee lately, but it just hasn't been possible. And while I wouldn't go out in Melbourne itself, the airport seemed like a safe enough place.

I finally got out of my trackies and threw on some fleece tights, a high waisted skirt, camisole, knitted cardigan and velvet scarf. I put on my favourite shoes and, after I did my make-up and put on a little jewellery, I wasn't feeling too bad about myself.

The airport's about an hour away, and we got there in fairly good time. We parked and left my brother to run for his flight, and went to find a café. I had to keep asking mum to slow down because she was walking ahead of me and I just couldn't keep up with her. I haven't been exercising much at all lately, and I'm lucky if I was 1,000 steps around the house each day. I would panic if we got separated by more than 5 feet, like a child.

I was kinda tempted to jump on the baggage scales, just for the lulz. They were tared to zero and everything.

We ordered our coffee, and mum got a toasted egg and bacon sandwich for lunch, so I ordered the same. I'm terrible at making decisions when it comes to food, so I tend to 'go along'. I had a little under half of the sandwich with a long black. There was cheese in it, but it had hardly even melted, so I picked it out bit by bit. I've been eating an egg with shortcut bacon on toast (150-ish cal total) every few days for lunch recently, so this wasn't too much of a stretch.

Before we left, I took the dive and bought a bag of choc chip cookies, because I thought they looked so frikkin' good and I haven't had homemade cookies in the longest time. When I had one in the car on the way home, I was disappointed to find it too sweet and too fatty with simply not enough flavour or choc chips. But at least their coffee was okay.

Thankfully it wasn't too crowded, but it was loud as hell at some parts. At the end, I was glad to get back to the car, and even gladder to get home.

I've been trying to write a post for the last couple of days, but with no luck. I saw my GP this week and was honest about misusing my meds, for better or for worse, and we're coming up with a plan. I have another busy week coming up with the GP on Wednesday for follow-up, plus my 6-weekly weigh-in with the dietician on Tuesday, so I'll update after that.

I experimented with my jewlery a bit. I felt like wearing something around my ankle to break up the plain black, but I've never been the type to wear anklets. So I found this little chain to fit perfectly around my ankle, complete with padlock. Take whatever symbolism you will, but I'll definitely be doing it again.

The offending cookies



  1. That is great news, going on that impromptu trip! I know how hard it is, but you made it and hell, that is all that matters.

  2. i love you and i'm so proud of you.

    i wasn't even going to comment on this post (i've been slack on both since my mini hiatus thingy), but i have to say i'm incredibly proud of you. this is amazing and every word of this is enough to seriously make my day.

    those cookies are definitely offending me and i haven't eaten them.soft jam-packed cookies is the only way to go but i'm glad you went ahead and took a bag anyway.

    i have much to say but literally have to leave right about now, so i'll keep it with: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BELLA.

    (PS. i had no cognitive functioning to re-read the comment so if i said anything that is remotely offensive (like the offending cookies), feel free to ignore me). xxxx

    -Sam Lupin

  3. Super super proud of you Bells!!
    Such a big step for you
    And I couldn't be happier
    As you know
    I live in the hope that you realise the very great potential that you have
    Always here
    Always rooting for you

    Love you x

  4. Yay bella!

    Sounds like a total success!

    Personally i love hanging out at the airport. I like people watching and seeing the comings and goings. I have been to Avalon and Tullamarine in the last couple of years.

    I didn't realise avalon was so far away from Melbourne (duh!!) and the shuttle bus broke down and this creepy creepy dude struck up a weird convo with me about how men and women are different.

    Oh I'm scaring you out of the general public....i do not mean to do that. Overall it was a good trip cos i went to see Phar Lap.

    I'm pretty partial to bacon and egg on toast. I read somewhere once people did better on maths tests after eating bacon.

    Hope you and mum are ok now. Or at least a lil better.

    PS you're anklet idea is TOO cool.

  5. I'm so proud of you. I'm Glad to hear that you got out and the trip was successful. It's a pity the cookies were disappointing though.
    I love the anklet idea. Very cool.
    Anne Xx

  6. That is amazing news Bella! In the years I've been following you, I knew that one day you'd say those words, "I wasn't feeling too bad about myself." How awesome is that! You're absolutely beautiful and I have missed your writing. Well honestly, I've just missed you in general. We need to catch up real soon. Lots of love.
    XOXO Katie

  7. Sorry, I never got back to you! Yes, spoon theory! When I first read it a few years ago I never saw how it could possibly relate to me or my illness, I was all 'oh it must be so difficult to have lupus.' It was only when a girl in group used it to describe her BPD that I made the link. It seems to help, thinking I only have a finite number of spoons per day, and I really need to manage my energy to keep myself well!

    The anklet looks awesome, and I'm loving the shoes! I love your style in general :)

    Glad I'm not the only one that wants to do that with the baggage scales! I've never done it, but came so close when I was with my dad this one time...

    I can never decide what to eat a lot of the time, I usually have to be told or have someone choose for me when I'm out.

    Well done or getting out, and glad it went reasonably ok at least :)


  8. I wish I could have been there and tagged along. I'm glad you managed to get out and it went well, hopefully you might be able to get out again sooner next time. LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK, always and forever, my little diddy starsister xxx

  9. I'm very proud of you for getting out- and I love your outfit (as always!) xx

  10. I saw some ombre tights that would like super cool with your clothes.

  11. I saw some ombre tights that would like super cool with your clothes.