Apart from my stupid manic trip to Melbourne to see the guy who left me unresponsive post-seizure, I went out twice last year. Once for my birthday when we went to Warrnambool, and once in August when we went out for dinner. So far this year I've gone out for dinner once and coffee once (more on that in my next post). I do appointments, I organize smoke, and that's it. I can't even go to the regular supermarket, or for a simple walk around the block.
For entrees (which I unfortunately didn't take photos of), we ordered steamed pork dumplings, vegetable spring rolls, satay chicken skewers, and sesame prawn toast. For mains, we had Mongolian beef, beef in black bean, and stir-fried noodles. I had half a spring roll and half a piece of sesame prawn, plus a little of the Mongolian beef and black bean with rice - plus a good half a bottle of wine.
Things fell apart at the end when, without going into detail, my brother mentioned the name of my abusive ex. I started attacking my arm under the table, and had to cover it with napkins and my coat on the way out. This led to a massive breakdown, resulting in me sitting in the garage with a knife to my throat and taking two weeks' worth of oxazepam, mum threatening to call the police. It was 1am before we got to bed. Needless to say, it was a bit of a disaster. It's not surprising I ended up in ICU the next day.
And just lastly, my lungs are killing me today. Mum and Brother have been sick all week, now it's my turn. So much so that even mum keeps saying I should be in hospital. O2sats were 87% with a fever of 39°c, but I'm freezing, everything hurts, I can't sleep more than a hour before I wake up coughing. Anything sitting in my stomach makes me want to puke.
Right now, all I want is to curl up under an electric blanket with Billy and Misty. If I'm still this bad on Monday, I might try to get into see my GP and get her opinion.
Apologies for the awkward photos. I've misplaced my tripod and remote, and 6'1" is a long way to bend down to take photos of my legs, hence my hair getting in the way. Please excuse my messy study.