On Wednesday I had another EEG done, as further investigation into the seizures. This time, it was 3 hours long, and required I stay up the night before so I'd be in a sleep deprived state with a higher chance of abnormalities in the results. They stuck electrodes all over my head, and I just leant back in the recliner, pulled the blankets up, and killed the time reading.
I've had a terrible time sleeping this week, not helped by withdrawing from synthetics and insane coffee consumption. Last Sunday, I stayed up all night, slept Monday night, stayed up Tuesday for the EEG the next morning, slept Wednesday and Thursday night, stayed up Friday night marathoning the new season of Unbreakable, and slept last night. So essentially, I've only been sleeping every second night, and staying up all through the day.
On Tuesday, the dietician weighed me for the first time in a couple of months. At home that morning, I was 44.3kg (97.6 lb, BMI 12.8), and 45.2 clothed on her scales. Even though I've gained back a couple of the kilos I lost in hospital, where it got as low as 42 (92.5 lb, BMI 12.1), it's actually the lowest weight on record. Before AN, the only time I remember being weighed was after my big OD just before I turned 13, which is over ten years ago now.
She asked how I felt about it, and I told her I probably don't want it to drop much further, as my GP would intervene, but I also don't particularly want it going back up.
I also took my full set of measurements, so I've updated my stats here. I tried to use my body fat percentage monitor, but it said I was outside the measurable range (which is bullshit, because it's supposed to read from 4.0% - 50%).
I mentioned before that my coffee consumption has been slightly insane. After being on instant for nearly two weeks in the hospital, I hit it hard when I got home. I'd been drinking up to 20 cups a day in hospital as a substitute for smoking. Whenever I wanted a smoke, I'd make a cup of coffee. When I came home, I went through a kilogram (2.2 lbs) of coffee beans in seven days. Usually, it'd last twice as long. But I've been drinking lots of coffee and smoking lots of cigarettes, which has kept me off synthetics for over a week now (which mightn't sound like much, but it's the longest I've gone in... probably a few years now, with the exception of hospital) and keeping the natural stuff (mostly) to after dinner.
I've had a hard time motivating myself to do much these past few weeks. It hasn't helped that, when I left hospital, I was taken off the PRN oxazepam, which had been my lifeline without smoking. My GP gave me some when I caught up with her, after much begging and pleading, but only once a day. She also wants me to choose between the lorazepam and the oxazepam, when The Lung Doctor Man had me on, and recommended to my GP, both.
She said the benzo situation might change when I start seeing this psych, but I don't know when that will be. It was supposed to be this Wednesday coming, but being the day before payday, I don't have that kind of money just sitting. So it was cancelled.
I'm absolutely dreading facing my GP on Thursday.
Mum said "Move forward or move out."
But frankly, my health is no more of her business than her's is mine, and I don't really care to discuss my health with her at all - mental or physical - as it just leads to arguments.
This weekend, she's gone away to visit her friends for a couple of nights, which is a much-welcomed break for both of us. I've just spent it quietly on the couch, marathoning Disney/Pixar movies and re-playing Terranigma for the millionth time on SNES.
This week, the dietician is away, and then I see the GP on Thursday for our regular catch-up. Next week I need to see the nurse to get my tongue frenulum piercing taken out for the first time since it was pierced 6-7 years ago (because going to my piercer in the middle of town is out of the question), because it's in too awkward a place to get my hands in, and I have a MRI next week.
The GP mentioned bolt cutters.
Billy and Misty actually sharing a chair when I got home