I haven't really done any sewing since before hospital, so sometime in May, but a couple of weeks ago I grabbed a few things and started pottering on some new skirts. I had all the fabric and things already, so all I had to buy were the buttons for the tartan one. I still haven't finished the 1880s dress yet, and I'm still making slow progress on my tapestry, but I'll get there.
I love the style of this skirt. If you think it looks familiar, that'd probably be because I made another one last year.
I was worried about how the tartan one would come together, but I think it turned out okay. I don't know if I'll ever wear it out though. It makes me kinda anxious to think about wearing something colorful out, because people might notice it and, god forbid, see me. All black blends in better, I think.
I don't have many words this week. Everything is just such a push, so forced. I push myself to finish these skirts, I push myself to exercise, and I don't even feel good about it. It doesn't make me happy. I just can't relax until it's done.
I have a tendency to crash after finishing sewing projects. Partly because I get into a mindset of "why the hell did I just waste so much time and money making this? I never go out, I'll never wear it, it's all pointless", but mostly because I will never be truly happy with anything I sew, because it will never be perfect, it will never be good enough. It's the little things; the seams that are a couple of millimeters out of line, the buttons not being perfectly even, the not-entirely-straight hemlines... I know it's pathetic, but it's things like that which leave me crumbling in tears, because it will never be good enough because I will never be good enough.
Sorry they aren't the best photos. I'll try to take proper ones soon. I just don't have the energy, physically or emotionally, to put much effort into taking nice photos right now. I've crashed hard and didn't even want to try the skirts on, let alone take photos, but I thought I'd share them and check in with the blogosphere. Excuse the wrinkles etc..
|Half the work's on the inside|