I haven't really done any sewing since before hospital, so sometime in May, but a couple of weeks ago I grabbed a few things and started pottering on some new skirts. I had all the fabric and things already, so all I had to buy were the buttons for the tartan one. I still haven't finished the 1880s dress yet, and I'm still making slow progress on my tapestry, but I'll get there.
I love the style of this skirt. If you think it looks familiar, that'd probably be because I made another one last year.
I was worried about how the tartan one would come together, but I think it turned out okay. I don't know if I'll ever wear it out though. It makes me kinda anxious to think about wearing something colorful out, because people might notice it and, god forbid, see me. All black blends in better, I think.
I don't have many words this week. Everything is just such a push, so forced. I push myself to finish these skirts, I push myself to exercise, and I don't even feel good about it. It doesn't make me happy. I just can't relax until it's done.
I have a tendency to crash after finishing sewing projects. Partly because I get into a mindset of "why the hell did I just waste so much time and money making this? I never go out, I'll never wear it, it's all pointless", but mostly because I will never be truly happy with anything I sew, because it will never be perfect, it will never be good enough. It's the little things; the seams that are a couple of millimeters out of line, the buttons not being perfectly even, the not-entirely-straight hemlines... I know it's pathetic, but it's things like that which leave me crumbling in tears, because it will never be good enough because I will never be good enough.
Sorry they aren't the best photos. I'll try to take proper ones soon. I just don't have the energy, physically or emotionally, to put much effort into taking nice photos right now. I've crashed hard and didn't even want to try the skirts on, let alone take photos, but I thought I'd share them and check in with the blogosphere. Excuse the wrinkles etc..
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| Excuse my butt. I still need to sew a hook and eye on, but right now I'm just too tired to care. |
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| Half the work's on the inside |
xxBella
Love, love, love the tartan skirt!
ReplyDeletei also have a fear of doing things because I am afraid that I will not like the end result, such as with my writing. It will never be good enough. I will never be good enough. Better to avoid disappointment.
I seriously need you to make me a hat. I'll dye you a scarf. Or knit one. But I need one of these, it's crucial to my existence. I understand the crashing, that's what I'm kind of doing after moving so much, and then school starts in a week, it's a lot to deal with. If it doesn't make you happy, then take a break. I think you love sewing even if you don't wear the thing you make because you MAKE them. It's an outlet, and you're good at it, despite what you think. Take care hon, message me if you ever need to. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteWow wow wow. Those are gorgeous. Have you ever thought of doing an online shop? And I'm VERY impressed with your zipper skills. When I used to sew, I'd always give up in frustration and get my mom to do them. Or not even try.
ReplyDeleteOh and man I get the perfectionism thing. School and writing papers was like that for me. I had a magic moment in hospital a long time ago when I decided that I wasn't going to try and make "perfect" art anymore and it would from then on be for having fun and experimenting. I just started splashing paint on a canvas and layering layering layering working with the "mistakes." It still sneaks back on me but I try to remind myself that art is the part of my life that is exempt from that sort of thinking.
I've never tried chia seeds. My roomie eats them all the time and swears by them... but they look like lizard eyes so I've been too chicken to try. :P
Ugh and I keep putting off talking to my dad. September is going to sneak up on me. I know it.
Loves you.
Absolutely fabulous Bella, your sewing skills are sensational and never cease to amaze me. I would love you to make my clothes you are just so brilliant!
ReplyDeleteSending you oodles of love and bunches of hugs as ever xxxx
The tartan skirt is gorgeous. You did a beautiful job. I agree, you shoild think about an online shop.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you're going to hear this from everyone else but wow that skirt is gorgeous. I can picture it in one of those expensive stores you see at strip malls on a sexy mannequin. I like it better with the colors facing outward, but it's astounding that you engineered it to be worn both ways. You should enter some kind of contest and win lots of money :)
ReplyDeleteI love these skirts, you are so talented. I can't sew a button to a shirt. The tartan skirt is my favourite.
ReplyDeleteYou're so quick! This is awesome, I can't sew that well >< ever. And I can't wait to see the 1880s dress done, it's so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteYou look lovely in tartan, as you do in everything else :)
Don't push yourself dear if you don't want to do it.
Honey, I'm sorry you feel unsatisfied. It's hard to be perfect with sewing. Sometimes we just have to make do I guess. I'm never satisfied with things I sew either - there is always something out of place or that could look better.
I hope you feel better honey. Take care of yourself. <3
Love,
Christie
I love your skirts! They look very good on you!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could sew! I am so very jealous of your talent.
<3
i'm back hun, your skirts are wonderful <3
ReplyDeletere: if I ever go back to Uni I would continue to study English Lit. English and literature, it can't get any better :)
ReplyDeleteHi Bella! I think your new skirts look amazing! You are so talented! I really love the splash of color with the red plaid/tartan!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the crash, but I hope you're able to rise out of it soon! Thinking of you and sending love and hugs! xo