Thursday, 7 February 2013

We called the lovely GP this morning to make an appointment. I'm seeing her at 3:30 this afternoon. I'm a bundle of anxiety, and I have no idea what to say or expect. Mum seems to have a much better grip on "what's going on?" than I do anyway, so she'll likely do most of the talking.

The lovely GP has set aside an empty room for me instead of sitting in the busy waiting room, without even asking. I've only met her the once recently, and she definitely understands anxiety, but it seems like a lot of bother. I don't want to be a bother.
The dietician also told me this week that she's running a course one Tuesday in March. She said not to stress if the receptionists say she's not working, because she's coming in beforehand to see me anyway. I swear I've near-forgotten about all the bad GPs at my clinic.

As for the dietician on Tuesday, it was another week, another weigh-in. My weight dropped a bit again, though nothing spectacular to report. The dietician said I seemed more anxious than usual. Maybe. The past week I've fallen into a bit of a PTSD episode. February is never a good month.

Things have been strange for the last 7 weeks, and I feel more unstable each day. With the appointment later today, hopefully I'll get some form of clarity soon.
Thank you to everyone who's been reading and commenting - I'd be lost without you wonderful ladies. Sorry I've been less regular with commenting (and posting) lately.



  1. I hope things go well with your GP
    I know what it's like to feel so anxious that you're paralysed
    Anxiety stops me from doing so much
    Keeps me stuck in this place

    Keep fighting dear Bella
    You are worth fighting for
    You are worth so much more than this cruel illness
    I believe you can get well
    I hope you believe it too

    Love you x

  2. I'm so happy that you finally has gotten a great GP! God knows you've been missing one.
    And I really like that she does these things for you. And don't feel like a bother. She wouldn't have done it, even by herself, if it was a bother !
    I'm sorry to hear you're feeling unstable.. That's a really hard feeling, but you're strong and I know you'll get through!

    Xx Jo

  3. Even though i may not comment on every post, i still read it all, i just sometimes don't know how to're so amazing, you truly are xx

  4. I hope things go well with your GP! Keep fighting, and remember this illness does not define you. You are so much more than it, and I know you can get through this. I understand the whole anxiety thing, it's so awful, and don't think you're a bother, because you're not. You're amazing xx

  5. I'm glad that things are going well with your GP. That's always a big help when you've got a good team working for you. I'm sorry things are tough this month. Keep you're head. You're beautiful.

  6. I definitely understand the growing anxiety love. Do what you need to to take control for you. I hooe everything goes great and smooth. Don't forget you're beautiful hun.


  7. Hi there. I dropped in to your blog when i was googeling.
    I was wondering about one thing after reading your blog:
    Can you write ehat you did eat to loose som eweight in the beginning?
    I dont want to loose SO much, about 5 kilos.
    I am desperate.. you know that feeling, when you have tried EVEYTHING,
    and the weight SHOULD go down, but it dosent.. :(
    This is getting me depressed..

    Take care.