Wednesday, 14 August 2013

The Dietician

I had my appointment with the dietician yesterday, and most of it was spent discussing the issue of exercise. I told her that the thoracic physician wants me to start exercising, and that I wasn't totally comfortable with the idea because of my history with compulsive overexercising.
"What does he mean by 'exercise'? Walking?"
"Yeah... But when I said that I don't leave the house, he asked if I had an exercise bike or a treadmill."
Her face dropped "Oh."
She asked what I'd said to him about the overexercising, and I'd said nothing. I doubt he'd have understood. 

She thinks that while exercising may help my lungs, it'd be detrimental to my health in the bigger picture. I need to be able to make up for the calorie deficit, and at the moment I just can't do that. My weight would drop further if I start exercising, and it'd cause more harm than good. She wants me to be eating at least 1,500 (*gasp*) calories before I can exercise at all, and even then it'd need to be heavily supervised. She's going to discuss it with my GP to get her opinion too, and then the GP will discuss it with the physician, but it's not looking likely. 

As for my intake, it was a bit better this week with the help of Ensure. Some days I drank it, some days I just couldn't. Overall I had three days at 1,000 calories, and the other days were between 600-900. She weighed me, and I'd maintained. Back in her office she started talking about how my weight needs to be going up, though I'm still avoiding that like the plague. Little steps.

I'm still struggling to have much variety in my foods. I'm in a routine, and the world of food is just so daunting. I eat the same meals everyday, though I've been attempting to challenge myself once a day, usually dinner, with mixed success. Last night I joined in pasta, and I also had a glass of wine. Tonight I'm cooking dinner for mum and I; a stir-fry with chicken, green beans, carrot, red capsicum (bell pepper) and onion, served with rice. Simple, fresh, easy to weigh and measure. It's not enough to not need Ensure, but it's a start.

Next week I'm back to the GP. I think the higher Seroquel dosage is actually starting to help. I don't feel great, but I feel different, like the mania's finally drawn to a close. Something's changed. 

Thank you to everyone who's been reading and commenting. You guys are seriously amazing for putting up with me and my ramblings.



  1. Dear Bella,
    It is always great to read your posts and hear how you are doing. Thank YOU too, for reading my blog and always supporting me with your kind comments.
    Yesterday I also got told to try to increase my caloric intake to get my weight up... and I am not happy with the idea :/
    I also tend to stick with the same diet most of the time - variety and portion size... changing your diet is a hard work...
    Good luck with seeing your GP next week. Glad to hear that the Seroquel is working :)
    Stay strong and keep fighting hun! <3

  2. I'm really glad you are starting to feel better, little steps are better than standing still. I hope you have a good week <3
    Alice xx

  3. That's such a good week! I'm glad things are getting a little bit better for you. And, hey, maintenance is already a big step, and you should be really proud of yourself.

    Also, that stir-fry sounds amazing. :) Hope it's delicious!

  4. Oh huni! I am glad you told the dietician about the doc wanting you to exercise.. I see the dillema and I am glad you have a good support system.. Yay for feeling better! I know 1500 must be so daunting but small steps and you are already doing so well! Hope you continue feeling ok - and by the way - your advice is always so amazing when you comment and I am so great full that you do! I will give queenie a massive squeeze from you don't worry!

    Lots of love :) xx

  5. 1500 is a lot considering where you are now. When do you think you want to get there? Maybe instead of exercise you could participate in more day to day errands or something?
    Also, YAY for the days of 1000 calories! Are you feeling any difference on those days?
    Bella, you are amazing, kind and strong. Of course we're going to 'put up' with your ramblings.

  6. I'm glad you managed to talk to your dietitian about the exercise dilemma, I hope you manage to get things cleared up with an answer soon :)

    It's so good that you've been managing to do so well with the calorie intake, I'm so proud of you and you should be proud of yourself! Your stir-fry sounds delicious! I know what you mean about being stuck in a rut of eating the same foods every day. I'm going through that now and there's no variety at all. Maybe your dietitian could suggest some variations for you and then you might be able to avoid the Ensure too? Are there any meals/foods that you would feel safe with? Maybe you could give them a try, just one new thing a week?

    You're amazing Bella, really amazing! Big hugs! Xxxx

  7. So happy to hear you're working on your intake! Don't feel guilty about not exercising. I am in the same trap, and it is really hard to explain to people, but when I exercise I over-do it and I restrict even more, so I know it isn't a good idea for me right now. And I certainly agree with your dietician that it is not a good idea for you either. Are their breathing exercises you can do? I used to have a tape of a "breath session" and something like that could be's also super relaxing.
    Good luck, keep fighting, and stay strong! And It is a pleasure reading your blog, nothing to put up with!

  8. That's awesome that you talked to someone about the exercising thing. Man that guy was totally ridiculous...

    Nice to see you're getting your calorie intake up =) <3