Monday, 24 February 2014

The You Yangs

With the month quickly drawing to a close, I finally got out to the mountains today after putting it off for weeks. 

We did a trail walk that took us a little over an hour to complete. It wasn't too busy which was a relief - we only really saw other people in the car park. I took a heap of pictures, though sadly we didn't see any wildlife (they have kangaroos, koalas, echidnas, wallabies, possums and lizards!).

I made a packed lunch this time instead of buying Subway en route, which took a little of the stress off. I packed a small wholemeal roll with mashed egg (129+66) with a Thermos of coffee, alongside my liter bottle of water. Mum had the same, just a larger portion. Normally I wouldn't eat rolls, at the moment I rarely even do sandwiches, but they just weren't practical, and neither was my usual fruit-based lunch, so mum suggested rolls.

Since K asked on my last post, I thought I'd explain a little about my challenges leaving the house for any newer readers.
To put it simply, I have agoraphobia, and the last couple of years have been pretty bad. I haven't really left the house regularly in over a year now, except for appointments, of course. When I do venture out into the world, there are a lot of internal rules and barriers about where's 'safe' to go and where's not. My New Years Resolution this year was to challenge myself to go out once a month, which mightn't sound like much, but it's a huge deal to me.

Anyway, apart from today's outing, the week's been pretty uneventful. I've been exercising a lot and smoking a lot to try to keep my head in check, but that's about it. I haven't even sewn for weeks.

Tuesday is my rest day, but on Wednesday thru today, I've done a grand total of 16 hours 20 minutes exercise (7:40 step aerobics, 7:30 Wii boxing, plus 1:10 today walking at the You Yangs). That's an average of 2:44 of exercise a day, though some days have been as high as three and a half hours. I've been burning off more than I eat everyday. But hey, on the bright side, at least the Lung Doctor Man will be stoked when I have my checkup in May (maybe not with my smoking still increasing, but I'm exercising for at least an hour a day). 

Right now, I'm totally drained. I think it's time to smoke the rest of the day away, toss together a lettuce-salsa-chicken salad (my fourth this week) and call the day done. Dietician first thing tomorrow, which after a week of so much exercise could be interesting. 



  1. Amazing pictures, glad you got to get out :)
    You look so much like this amazing girl I got to know here on blogger. She doesn't blog anymore, but we have kept in-touch on Facebook.. She is healthy, recovered (second time around), and actually getting married in a couple of weeks to her perfect guy..
    Take care of you Bella :)

  2. Oh, love. Please be careful with the exercise. It's awesome that you're so active, but just... be careful. You logically know everything I could say to you. Just remember that you're worth taking care of. <3

    Proud of you for getting out of the house! I'm glad there weren't many people around. Nature is always better experienced alone, I think.
    Those pictures are gorgeous. I keep forgetting you live in Australia until you mention koalas and have beautiful pictures of sunshine and trees. Just snowsnowsnow here.

    (Why do you manage to look so glamorous while hiking? That's just unfair.)

    Take care.
    --The Dancer

  3. I just love bush Australia and your pics were awesome :) Big shame you didn't see any wildlife.
    Thank you for your comments and encouragement dear. They mean the world to me! Hope you have a wonderful week x

  4. These pictures are totally gorgeous, I'm glad you managed to go and that it wasn't as anxiety provoking as you may have feared - where is March's outing planned for? Love you xxxx

  5. hello, you beautiful beautiful human being. i've not yet read this post but i'm glad to tell you that well, you are an astounding individual and i love you and i think of you constantly. probably more so than my girlfriend (don't tell her this).
    i hope you were okay with the rolls. i do worry about you, darling! i'd have to say i'm glad you went out on your little hiking adventure xx
    oh no this is definitely a huge deal. honestly, i'm so sorry to hear about your agrophobia!
    i'm hoping you can cut down on exercising and smoking though! that is an astoundingly high amount of exercise! i really do hope for a life for you beyond numbers, because you deserve it so dearly. if i could, i'd stuff all your demons in me.
    holy shit your lip ring i just noticed that
    you are such a beautiful individual
    i love your pictures omg

    -Sam Lupin
    PS. i love you.

  6. I'm so glad that you got out and went hiking. I hope your appointment with the dietitian goes well tomorrow. Beautiful pictures my dear.

  7. Oh man, I have GOT to go to Australia. It's gorgeous. I would never leave, though I can't imagine the heat right now. Amazing pictures hon, and I know black is your favorite, but not head to toe in that heat. I'm proud of you for getting out of the house, and for such a cool trip too. I basically want to type all of what Sam Lupin commented. ALSO IF I SAW A KOALA I WOULD DIE FROM SPAZZING AT THE CUTENESS AAHH THEY'RE ADORABLE AND FUNNY LOOKING WITH THEIR NOSES. I just want you to know I've been thinking about you a lot lately and I hope you're doing alright. MUCH LOVES.

  8. The scenery is soooo beautiful. We have some good hiking spots around here that we plan to tackle at some point. We've been wanting to for a while .

  9. Such a lovely landscape! And the selfies are great too. You are so beautiful, Miss Bell! Be careful with the exercise. Overexercising without sufficient nutrition and rest time leads to chronically impeded recovery, lowered stamina, fatigue, and poor health due to your body not being able to repair enough afterwards. Ps I'm studying exercise physiology and movement science. Xoxo

  10. So happy you got out, and it sounds like a lovely day at the You-Yangs! So jealous..I get excited at just seeing our normal squirrels...I'd die to see 'Straya's wildlife!

    Exercise - Yes, my love, it is healthy and important. It will improve your lung capacity and your moods. But your body is in crisis mode already. Adding that many hours of exercise is just killing you faster. And I need you and adore you so you cannot kill yourself. It is important to try to figure out, whether on your own or with your doctors, a work out plan that will not jeopardize your health. Either intake increases or exercise decreases. It's gotta be one or the other. I am praying for you Bella. I haven't been reading or writing as much lately because I promised my BF I'd cut back...he believes blogging is not conducive to recovery...but even if you don't see me commenting, I am thinking of you and sending love your way every day. I believe you deserve a better life than your mental illness is allowing you and I hope to see you get there. <3 Stay strong and keep fighting dear.