Sunday, 2 November 2014

November. How is it November already?

It's been a week. I don't really know what to say. I don't do much anymore outside of appointments. Everything just feels like too much.

The dietician was lovely this week, as always. She had some sort of a course to teach this week, and despite my repeated telling her not to worry, she insisted on coming by the clinic to see me anyway. It's not the first time she's done it, but it always amazes me that she actually cares enough to go out of her way. She knows I don't have much structure or routine in my days, so appointments are important.
"Well, I had to get in the car and drive past anyway."

We talked a lot about supplements and nutrients. Obviously it's preferable to get what I need through food instead of pills, but as we know that isn't always an option.
"You don't eat much red meat, do you?"
"Even if I ate it every day, I never have more than 50 grams. And most of the time I use veal instead, because it's leaner and more tender, but I found out yesterday that it only has half the iron of beef."

I can't stand the texture of red meat, unless it's slow-cooked and falling apart. Milo is my only real source of iron, but as my dietician pointed out, it's not the 'right' type of iron. Haem-something, I think she said. It was definitely something to do with red meat. She mentioned something about Ensure, and I just blurted out "Ensure doesn't have much iron". She laughed.

She knows about my troubles taking supplements, and I told her I tried talking to the mental health nurse about it and was told it's not important. My GP told me to get Caltrate plus Vitamin D, which I did, but I still haven't taken it yet.

She's going to look into what supplements are available as a powder to mix into your drinks. I don't know if I'll be able to take it, but pills and gummies and liquid supplements are out, and dietary intake is lacking, so I don't have a lot of options. We'll see how it goes. I take a fiber supplement in my coffee each morning, so maybe that's a gateway. Unfortunately, I'll probably be stuck with the vitamin D pills, but she thinks she can get calcium and iron as powders, and she's going to keep an eye on my vitamin C intake.

This morning I got on the elliptical for the first time in two years. It's been sitting gathering dust and cobwebs, a glorified clothes horse in the corner of the lounge room, for two years.

I don't know how or why it happened. I was tidying up my sewing things, thinking about maybe doing some yoga, and I just had the urge to get on. And I did, for about a minute, before grabbing my shoes and socks and actually plugging the damn thing in. I only lasted 15 minutes (I was aiming for 30), but for once I didn't feel like I was wasting time while exercising.

I bought myself another pair of shoes on clearance. I feel a bit guilty, but they were only $40 down from $140, and I hadn't bought myself shoes in so many years. They're my new 'flats'. Super comfy.



  1. Shoes=awesome. You are one classy chic! :D I second the feeling that everything feels like too much. Big hugs Bella <3

  2. It's amazing how time flies by right? I still can not grasp the fact that it is November already!
    As far as the sups go, how do you do with drops? I take 3 drops of D-sup and it's done wonders for me. :)

  3. I know I can't believe it's November either
    Imagine it is two and half years since we started blogging
    I know we started days apart
    It's been a privilege to be part of your journey Bella
    And I will forever hold on to the hope that you will come out the other side of this

    Always with ya
    Always rooting for you

    Take care dearest friend x

  4. those flats are so lovely. and you are so lovely
    ah. okay. i must say this because i can't stand not writing up a comment without saying it - haem iron from meats is more easily absorbed than iron from vegetables. if you take haem basically from vegetables, you'd have to take it along with other things to make it more easily absorbed. here's the nice bit: polyphenols in coffee/tea are inhibitors of non-haem iron absorption.
    elliptical. oh my god. i literally have one in front of me right now. if i'm not in a gym class, then it is my preferred machine. i hate that piece of junk so much. i hate anything that puts stress on my joints, so elliptical and i are a match made in heaven. of course, my sister now wants hers back so...i should probably give it back.
    also: do not feel guilty for not exercising. just don't feel guilty period. i love you too much.
    speaking of Milo, we have that here in this land apparently. it's insane what you can find here if you look enough. that's why i have such a love/hate relationship with this country. currently, i'm trying to plow through a jar of Reese's creamy pb (by the way, it has a sucky taste. so disappointing).
    one of these days, i am going to try Peanut Butter & Co's something and i hope that it's good. i hate making food purchases online just to figure out that what i bought taste like cardboard.

    i love you, Bella! <3 <3 <3 <3

    -Sam Lupin

  5. I can't resist a lovely pair of new shoes either! Especially is they're on sale ;) I get how everything is just too day it wont be and we'll conquer the world :) <3

  6. Cute shoes. I have all boring shoes right now. I keep buying shirts and stuff but not new shoes. Not sure why I never buy shoes.

    For the vitamins, I don't know what you have near you, but I buy a multivitamin from a natural/organic sort of grocery store, and they have a section of powdered and liquid vitamins. I looked at them at one point for a friend that was pregnant but didn't like taking big pills. If you do want to try them, I know you can buy some online.

    I have trouble with vitamins. I bought some and (bad excuse) decided they were ugly and annoying to take. I bought more today but haven't taken out of the bag.

    I never cook red meat either. I will eat it at my parents house, but I am supposed to take an iron supplement.. and I don't. I own them, but I feel like I have to feel sick to justify taking them.. and it's hard to feel anemic. I do feel better taking a B vitamin pill at least. Supposedly alcohol can cause a B vitamin deficiency. So maybe the powdered ones are worth trying.

  7. Time flies. I hate growing older.
    Red meat isn't healthy though, is it? And I don't like it either - I prefer chicken :P
    I hope the powdered supplements help if you take them.
    Hope you enjoyed the exercise...oops, I've not been to the gym in a month.
    Great shoes ^^


  8. Wonderful shoes! You always seem to dress in the prettiest things, whether bought or sewn!

    Ah, red meat... No thanks. It's fish and fowl, or I will regress into that four-year-old who was force-fed red meat. Diii-sgusting.

  9. I was just standing there in our room talking about how I was so bored of shoes ha. You have to buy so damn many to match and I just want to throw in my Nikes or sandals and call it a day. These, however, are so you and that price is beyond amazing. I would say you did well my dear.

    Side note, at the supplement stores they have liquids in like everything it seems like. Multi, vitamin c, d, and b. I bet you could get something. Have your mom sneak it into your stuff. :P nah seriously though, it takes you calories to breath, to think, to talk and keep staying alive. Think of it as another splash of grease to keep the old brain going. I love you.

  10. Trying to make my rounds and comment on my close friends on here since I've been just absolutely awful at posting on my own blog, let alone commenting on others. : /
    First off, the shoes are awesome. & what a deal!
    Secondly, I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble with supplements like you're iron. Are you anemic? I am assuming because most ED people have trouble getting enough iron, sometimes it's hard to get enough even when you eat! I've never been a big fan of red meat either, I mostly just stick to chicken, not just for the calories & fat but because I've just never much liked the taste of red meat, maybe once in a while, but not often.
    I hope you can find an iron supplement that will work for you, iron deficiency can make you feel so awful! So lethargic. I hope you've been feeling alright otherwise. I'm sorry things are so hard, I'm having a tough time too, and am always here if you need to talk.
    Love you Bella.

  11. re calories vs WW points: I find it much easier to do points, mentally. Calories are so unforgiving, so very much in-your-face.