November. How is it November already?

It's been a week. I don't really know what to say. I don't do much anymore outside of appointments. Everything just feels like too much.

The dietician was lovely this week, as always. She had some sort of a course to teach this week, and despite my repeated telling her not to worry, she insisted on coming by the clinic to see me anyway. It's not the first time she's done it, but it always amazes me that she actually cares enough to go out of her way. She knows I don't have much structure or routine in my days, so appointments are important.
"Well, I had to get in the car and drive past anyway."

We talked a lot about supplements and nutrients. Obviously it's preferable to get what I need through food instead of pills, but as we know that isn't always an option.
"You don't eat much red meat, do you?"
"Even if I ate it every day, I never have more than 50 grams. And most of the time I use veal instead, because it's leaner and more tender, but I found out yesterday that it only has half the iron of beef."

I can't stand the texture of red meat, unless it's slow-cooked and falling apart. Milo is my only real source of iron, but as my dietician pointed out, it's not the 'right' type of iron. Haem-something, I think she said. It was definitely something to do with red meat. She mentioned something about Ensure, and I just blurted out "Ensure doesn't have much iron". She laughed.

She knows about my troubles taking supplements, and I told her I tried talking to the mental health nurse about it and was told it's not important. My GP told me to get Caltrate plus Vitamin D, which I did, but I still haven't taken it yet.

She's going to look into what supplements are available as a powder to mix into your drinks. I don't know if I'll be able to take it, but pills and gummies and liquid supplements are out, and dietary intake is lacking, so I don't have a lot of options. We'll see how it goes. I take a fiber supplement in my coffee each morning, so maybe that's a gateway. Unfortunately, I'll probably be stuck with the vitamin D pills, but she thinks she can get calcium and iron as powders, and she's going to keep an eye on my vitamin C intake.


This morning I got on the elliptical for the first time in two years. It's been sitting gathering dust and cobwebs, a glorified clothes horse in the corner of the lounge room, for two years.

I don't know how or why it happened. I was tidying up my sewing things, thinking about maybe doing some yoga, and I just had the urge to get on. And I did, for about a minute, before grabbing my shoes and socks and actually plugging the damn thing in. I only lasted 15 minutes (I was aiming for 30), but for once I didn't feel like I was wasting time while exercising.

I bought myself another pair of shoes on clearance. I feel a bit guilty, but they were only $40 down from $140, and I hadn't bought myself shoes in so many years. They're my new 'flats'. Super comfy.

xxBella