Warrnambool and the Cheese Factory

This week, I went on a day trip down the coast to the cheese factory. After my routine appointment with the dietician on Tuesday morning, mum and I set off for the two and a half hour drive to Warrnambool.

It's the fourth or fifth time we've gone to the cheese factory in the last couple of years. They have an amazing range of cheddars, and we usually come away with disgusting amounts of their vintage (this time we got 5kg/11lb) We ran out of our last haul four months ago, but this week was the first time mum could get me to agree to a day trip.

I wore my hair down for once, and everyone at the clinic commented on it. Back in the car, I swept it back up into a comb. Safe.

The dietician hadn't had time to ask the pharmacist about powdered supplements last week. She said she saw a few products online but didn't like the looks of them, so I don't think it's worth checking myself.

After two and a half hours in the car, we reached our destination. We went to Lincraft and I got to look around at all the pretty fabrics. I can't tell you how many years it's been since I've actually been into a fabric store.

We got into town and had lunch. I had quiche lorraine with salad, and the thing was huge (picture below)! I barely made it through half, and picked most of the pastry off because it was soggy and not worth the calories.

Then we looked around Target, with the intention of looking for a Christmas gift for my brother. The only thing I found was for myself, when I was browsing through the clothes section, and a comfy-looking plain black skirt caught my eye. I went over and started shuffling through the hangers for a 4 or 6, and I said to mum "What the hell's a size 9?"

I looked at the tag and realized I'd wandered across to the children's section. I felt like a bit of an idiot, but I picked out a 12, held it up against me, and decided it'd be long enough. Bonus - it was on clearance.
(Fun fact: when I was 12, I was already 5'10"-5'11", and obviously out of children's clothes. I'm 6'1" now)

I never try on clothes anymore. I hated it when I was younger, and when I developed AN I just stopped. I started trying on clothes at home and exchanging or returning them if needed. It's not that I find it overly upsetting, just needlessly tedious and time consuming I guess.

I had a look at the map I'd printed out, with six op shops marked. Even though I only made it to one before I panicked, it was okay. I got a little leather pleated miniskirt (well, fake leather), but that was it.

We had to walk through a small shopping center to get back to the car, and I started panicking. I would freeze for a moment, slowly moving forward again when I realized I could not in fact will myself to disappear. Mum offered to go get the car and pick me up, but the thought of standing there by myself was even more terrifying.

Once we reached the car I started crying and rambling and was a total mess. I spent over an hour in breakdown mode, pulled over on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. I had an extra lorazepam, making four for the day instead of one or two.

We stopped for the cheese on the way back out of town, but I couldn't bring myself to go in. I curled up with my blankets and counted the minutes until we got home. It was a long day. We ended up getting home at 6pm, after leaving to see the dietician at 8am.

So that's my 7th outing for the year. I figure I might have time for one more before school holidays start, but we'll see.

I didn't take many photos when I was out, but I took some of the (fake) leather skirt yesterday. I was going to take some of the other skirt but I just didn't have the energy. Please excuse my messy study. 

Unfortunately it's a little short to wear without a long coat.
It's okay from the front, but I'm a little... cheeky from the back.

Fishnet, leather and lace. Feeling quite feminine here.

xxBella