Friday, 1 May 2015


Yesterday was my 22nd birthday.

I never do much for my birthday. I can't remember the last time I had a party or got together with friends. I was talking to PrettyLies, who doesn't blog anymore, a while ago, and we were joking about having an online video-chat party so I could have an e-party with all you lovely people. Maybe next year?

It was a pretty quiet day. I managed to avoid any major breakdowns. We went for a couple of drives to shortcut mood drops, and I put together the cake I'd baked the day before.

Mum gave me a few Disney DVDs (The Lady & the Tramp, Sleeping Beauty, 101 Dalmatians, The Rescuers & The Rescuers: Down Under), plus a new laptop charger, a food scale, and a couple of warm tops (a hoodie and a button-up cardigan).

As for the food scales, I had two sets. A 0.1g x 250g set that I use for, well, most things, plus a bigger 1g x 5kg set that I use for things like baking and cooking family dinners etc.. But my little ones needed replacing because they go through a set of two 2032 batteries each week. It's a bit of a joke. 

I haven't been baking much at all lately, but with a little encouragement from mum, I made my near-signature triple chocolate (chocolate cake layers sandwiched with buttercream and coated with semisweet ganache), half of which will be given away.

The plumbers have been about this week, after two weeks of "maybe next week"s and endless anxiety on my part, and will be here again next week (or will they?). They did call this time, though, which was much appreciated.

We got back from an appointment one morning, and driving past saw them getting ladders off their truck out the front (they did call the day before). I panicked a little, but mum said she didn't think they'd be out the back. I opened the garage door, saw the tradie standing in the yard and froze. I pretended I was invisible and scurried inside, scooping up an armful of notebook as I went by my armchair.

As much as I hate having them here, they are nice. I obviously haven't interacted with them at all. But apparently one of them kept asking how I was, if I was okay, which I guess is nice.
(Shelby, fyi, one of them is kinda cute, but it's kinda hard to tell with the whole beard-and-sunnies thing)

So I've been hiding in the lounge, today included. Today was supposed to be all about packing and lists and making myself look presentable, but little of that's actually happened. This week's been an utter train wreck but it seems pointless to talk about.

Tomorrow we're going to Warrnambool, but all I want to do is shrink into the ground and disappear.



  1. Omg Happy Birthday!!! That cake looks scrumptious ^-^
    I hope the rest of the week is peaceful and nice
    Take care my dear!
    *throws confetti*

  2. Happy birthday dear friend
    You've made it through another year
    I know also your blog is three years d this month
    So congratulations for that too
    It's been an honour to have gotten to know you and be part of your story
    And for you to have been part of mine
    I will pop a little card on the post for you soon

    Take care precious one x

  3. Happy Birthday tooooo youuuu, happy Birthday toooo youuuuu...!
    I wish you all the best, Iwik

  4. Love a good beard!!!!!!!

    So,so,so, so, so much luck for you for your big trip.


    1. And many happy returns for your bday.

      Things are going to improve. I know tons of people who kind of turned a corner in their mid twenties when it came to things like agoraphobia. Honest.


  5. happy belated birthday (belated as in i just came home from my practical so i'm just all emotional). i'm glad i remembered to send you stuff on the actual day.

    yay for e-parties. i'm definitely up for it. but you Australians with your timezones...

    see, i'm 7hrs ahead of US and approx 1-2hrs ahead of anywhere in the UK. 3-4 hours behind when you go close to Thailand, but you...i think i'm easily 7hrs behind you all. so it'll be interesting to find a time suitable for us all.

    it'll be exam period then for me, so i'll probably be up at 2-3 in the morn. it might work!

    "I managed to avoid any major breakdowns." already a good sign for me. :)

    your Mum gave you a food scale? oh man, she's the boss.

    what? that's absolutely insane. i only need to gain the batteries on my scale approx. 4-5 times a year if not less. though i have to say i'm in love with the accuracy of a .1g x 250gr scale. i mean especially with peanut butters and oils. i absolutely loathe the fact that if you add a fraction of a gram, the entire calorie content changes. no thank you. i've become the type to sometimes add a gram just in case (a teaspoon for me works on about 4g. just add 1 more gram. still it's insane!)

    and for peanut butter...fuck. i eat some on the side and add a few more grams. damned peanut butter. though i haven't had any in a while...

    "But apparently one of them kept asking how I was, if I was okay, which I guess is nice." aw, this made me smile! :) i'm glad that you at least have nice people around you.

    :( sorry about how this week was going for you, love. i hope this comment makes you smile a little. :)

    you can do this, love. you can conquer this, and i have no doubt of your abilities.

    holy fucking hell. that cake looks dense.

    i wonder how 50 grams of that cake would look like...

    i'd probably ruin the thing. eat the top part (my favourite part of the cake along with the sides...can you guess what i like about cakes? frosting. lots and lots of frosting). i can't eat a frostingless cake. where's my sugar buzz?

    i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you!!!!!

    i hope everything goes well and that things aren't too difficult (sends kisses).

    -Sam Lupin

  6. PS. you're special.

    i just wanted to let you know.

    you're really, really special and you light up my world. i'm sorry i don't have much to say. i'm glad you made it thus far - 22 years. you're meant to be here. you really are.

    i'm hoping that things light up soon.

  7. happy belated 22nd bday hon :)

  8. Ah, too bad a cake wouldn't survive going to Sweden, because that looks like heaven. I don't think I ever had a cake with frosting. Swedish cakes are usually made with whipped cream and fruit or berries, or a "lid" made of marzipan.

    I hope the trip is better than anticipated.

  9. I'm sorry I missed your birthday Bells! Happy happy happy birthday! the cake looks sinfully delish! I want some!

    I really hope the trip if going well for you darling! xo

  10. I'm sorry I missed your birthday Bells! Happy happy happy birthday! the cake looks sinfully delish! I want some!

    I really hope the trip if going well for you darling! xo