Thursday, 26 December 2013

Bah, Humbug!

Thank God it's over. I don't have many words about the day, so I'll just share some pictures instead.

I crashed in a heap yesterday after all was done, and am now back to just trying to get through each day, one moment at a time.

I saw the dietician on Christmas Eve. I have three weeks without appointments coming up in the New Year, which could be interesting. I see her next week, on New Year's Eve, but not again until the 21st of January. Last time she was away this long, my GP had to weigh me weekly, but I don't know if that's happening this time.

My weight dropped again this week, despite holiday indulgences over the weekend. 'Just a little bit' she said. I don't know exactly how much. I don't want to know, not for a few more weeks at least. I know I won't be losing quickly, and I don't want to trigger myself. It's never enough.

Exercise has definitely been helping over the past couple of weeks, in one way or another. It's cathartic in a similar way to self-harm, and it gets me out of my chair for a while. I've been keeping up with 60-90 minutes of step aerobics each morning, except yesterday, broken up into half-hour lots. The dietician wants me to keep it capped at an hour, and try for a minimum of 800 calories a day, but at the moment I don't know if I can.

Anyway, on to the Christmas pictures. I know it's a difficult time for a lot of us, but I hope you all had the best day you could. 

My shiny new full-length mirror. I've always wanted one, so I bought myself a little Christmas present.
Triple-layer chocolate cake, filled with buttercream and frosted with ganache. It was my second attempt at piping (ever). I gave a slice to my dietician, then realised I should've just made a cake for the whole clinic. Not only my GP and dietician, but the other GPs, nurses, and the girls at the desk have all been so good to me over the years.
Roast chicken with from-scratch stuffing, seasoned with fresh thyme and garlic. Duck fat potatoes.



  1. Although today was a good day, I'm glad it's over. My day was spent cooking and watching Doctor Who, and drinking. Not all so bad. It's just..the hype and consumerism and greed of of it all, I'm glad to be back to normal. I'm sorry your weight dropped and January will be an odd time without appointments, but we'll see how the exercise gets on? Question, is it weird to have Christmas when it's so hot there? I wish I had that problem, I'm sick of being cold. You're beautiful, dahling, I like your hair. And your tallness. Take care dear, Merry Christmas, love you!

  2. I don't know how they make humans as small as you but I think you're beautiful regardless and don't need to lose weight. At all. You're just beautiful inside and out and your dinner looked amazing. I'm giving you such a big hug right now. I've been so grateful for all the encouragement you've given me throughout the last year. Sometimes when you're in that ugly place in your life you just need to have soft reminders to keep going. I love you. Don't forget ever okay? ♡

  3. Okay, I'm super jealous it's hot where you're at. It's freezing here in the States- I hate the cold, rainy, gray weather and one day, I'm going to move to the desert! You look so beautiful in the black mini-dress and tights- that's a lovely outfit! And for your second time ever piping that cake looks fantastic (and I'm sure it tasted as good as it looks!). Actually, that entire dinner looks amazing. I'm also glad Christmas is over- sure, it can be a great time, but when the day passes I'm always relieved! I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week!

  4. You are so very lovely, Bella. Merry Christmas!

  5. Dear Starshine of Awesomeness,
    I love you, but you already know that :P
    You are totally adorable and stunning and so very very tiny. Even if your dietician probably isn't over the moon about the exercise, I hope it helps you cope with the inner chaos and torment, I worry for you, I love you to the moon and back, and I wish I could make you safe. I hope you manage to hang on over the next few days, I know New Year is rocky for both of us.
    Always here for you little angel xxxx

  6. Oh hun you're so thin it's almost painful =/ please please please take care of yourself, you're scaring me. The cake looks beautiful though =)

  7. OMG I am totally jealous of your legs. You have such a beautiful body. The food all looks yummy. Good job at not gaining over the holidays. That takes a lot of discipline. Keep up the hard work.

  8. Christmas sucks, but it's over and we survived it. :) I love love love your outfit, and you are gorgeous deary. Thanks for the micro crochet suggestion. I'd never heard of it and it is absolutely adorable. Have you tried it?