Hello lovelies. Sorry I keep disappearing. Times are tough, and all words feel so pointless.
Intake this week has been less erratic, but still not great. I'm slightly ashamed to say I drank on three occasions. It's something to do instead of sitting trapped in my head. It's hard to explain, but I feel the need to always be doing something when really there's nothing to do. I just need to keep myself distracted, but it's getting harder. My head is not a good place to be recently. I can't explain how or why. Today I'm making lists and plans for the next week, or at least trying to. Fingers crossed I escape tomorrow with a maintenance, or at least an insignificant gain (say less than 0.3kg)
I desperately need to get back to normality. I need to start posting more often (I hardly even journal at the moment), and losing more weight. I've come to a standstill over the last two weeks, and it's time to get back to shrinking. I can't even seem to focus on things like books or movies right now, my head is just not with it. Blech.
Sorry this is such a pointless blather, I'm having trouble getting my thoughts straight. I'll update tomorrow or Wednesday after the dietician, and hopefully I'll have something more interesting to say.
And thank you to everyone for such a wonderful, overwhelming response on my post about dear Silky. It was truly heartwarming to be met with such compassion. It's been 8 days now, and my depression is becoming lesser by the day. Which is good. But I'm left in this horrible manic state where I just need to do something, anything, keep busy and be productive.
Only one more week until the lovely GP's back, and then hopefully I can get my medication adjusted or something to help my head. Until then, I guess I just have to keep pushing myself.