Appointments, Tests, and the Possibility of Hospital

The past few days, I've been in the worst pain of my life. I have a constant ache in my chest, that stabs at me when I breathe, and sets off little bombs when I cough. I cancelled on the dietician yesterday, for the first time after 11 months, and saw the GP later in the day instead. I've been crying and literally screaming in pain, unable to breathe properly, and only barely made it to the one appointment. It hurts to breathe, to stay still, move, cough, lie down, stand up. Everything hurts. I'd considered going to hospital over the weekend, and my family had been asking me to, but I held out for the GP.

Mum's birthday didn't go according to plan, at all. I felt quite bad about the whole thing. I was crying in pain when she woke up (though still said 'Happy Birthday' first thing). We cancelled the dietician, and booked yet another emergency appointment with the GP. I spent the whole day in agony, crying and breathless and screaming. Over the last 5-6 weeks, I've taken four courses of antibiotics, a week of prednisolone, two different inhalers 7-10 times a day, and have tried four different types of painkillers, all to no relief. We made the appointment at 8am, and sat watching the clock until 3pm when I had my appointment.

The GP took my bloods herself then and there, as I still hadn't had them done. She gave me super-strong prescription painkillers, and I'm back on prednisolone. She told me to get the x-ray done ASAP, and to call in the morning for blood results. As soon as I got out to the car, I was gasping for air, and started crying and screaming in pain. I've never been in so much pain for so long. Mum's been likening it to watching someone in post-surgery or labour pains. We went straight to the chemist to get my painkillers, and mum even bought a bottle of water so I could have them straight away. Thank god, they've definitely dulled the pain.

Yesterday we bought take-out for every meal of the day, mum's choice, as we were so seemingly busy. I've told her I will make her birthday cake, as soon as I'm feeling better. Breakfast was 3/4 of a bacon & egg McMuffin (I gave my hash brown to mum; she loves a Maccas breakfast), lunch was 2/3 of a beef pie, and dinner was one slice of chicken pizza. Not too much damage calorie-wise, but it was all food that's practically devoid of nutrients. I ate literally zero fiber, micronutrients, and potassium.

I had my X-ray this morning. My GP called as we were on the way there, and said my blood results were back, showing a pretty bad infection. She said I may need IV antibiotic treatment, but I had to get the X-ray done first. A few hours later, she finished for the day, and called us to say the imaging place hadn't sent the results yet; they're still sending out yesterday's reports. Boo. So it's waiting until tomorrow.

I'm not keen on breaking my 17-months-hospital-free streak, but at least it wouldn't be related to my ED. If I do need to go, we're going to suss out the private hospitals so I can avoid the horrible psychiatrist at the public hospital (there's three, soon to be four, hospitals in my city). Mum's been pushing me to start taking action on that recently, and get a solicitor involved so the horrible psych couldn't come near me. Unfortunately, there's only one Accident & Emergency between the three hospitals, and that's at the public. If I needed to go to A&E for any reason, my family say they're willing to drive me 45 minutes to one in another town, but not if they're unsure I'll survive the drive. Thankfully, I won't need an emergency admission for this, but it's something I know I need to sort out.

I'll be hearing from the GP first thing tomorrow when she gets my results, and I guess we'll go from there. Mum and I are staying prepared for if I need to go to hospital tomorrow, which is currently looking more likely than not.


xxBella