The Opportunity of Absence

I found out the other day that my dietician will be away for two weeks at the start of July. My first thoughts are wondering how much weight I can lose in those three weeks. For anyone else who gets weighed weekly, you'll understand this temptation. As much as I'm more likely to become unstable without support, it's the most enticing time to lose weight. There's no one watching my calorie intake or my weight, and I tend to waver in these situations. I have a little over a month to get my head around it, and only time will tell how it goes. If my intake stays the same as it is now, I'll undoubtedly lose weight.

As for smoking, I've really made no progress. I have a huge box of nicotine gum, which I still haven't started on. I can feel and hear my breathing getting worse, and I know I need to stop ASAP. I used to like the nicotine inhalers, but even they're a no-go now. I shouldn't put "anything toxic" in my lungs; whether its smoke or nicotine inhalers or vaporizing or whatever else. I actually have volcano vape, but it's just as dangerous to use that right now. I'm seeing the physician tomorrow afternoon for my follow up appointment, which I'm utterly dreading. I've been chain smoking the entire week I've been home, even though it's less than I had been smoking. 

I've decided to try to keep myself distracted by spending more time in the kitchen again. Whether its actually cooking and baking, or just cleaning and tidying. Yesterday I baked two layers for mum's belated birthday cake, though I did the bulk of the work sitting down. I made the third layer today, and also a cheesecake. I've declared this Tuesday mum's belated birthday, as I was in too much pain to do anything on her actual birthday. I'm also going to make French toast for breakfast, which should be easy enough. I've been trying to get as much prep done early as I can, so tomorrow I can just assemble the cake and cook breakfast. In the next week, I also want to make wholemeal scones and banana-bran bread and a few other afternoon treats, as well as some easy safe dinners for the freezer.

Tomorrow's going to be busy, appointments-wise at least. I try to avoid having two appointments in one day, but tomorrow I'm seeing the dietician in the morning and the physician in the afternoon. I'm fully expecting to get my ass metaphorically kicked by the physician re: smoking, but oh well.

One day at a time. 

xxBella