Sunday, 4 November 2012

There's something in the air

I've spent the entire past week making various plans related to weight loss, and ignoring everything else. I'd made a weekly meal plan for my current 1,200 calories, so I haven't had to give a thought to what to eat, leaving lots of time for planning restrictions and cut backs. It feels somewhat surreal to be planning serious weight loss again after having maintained for so long, but it's in the air. It feels right.

I'm planning ahead so I can make sure I eat a somewhat sensible amount. Starting at 800 calories and eventually lowering to 500-600. I know that I can easily get enough in 800 to keep my blood sugars somewhat stable, which is my biggest concern really. I could do 5-600 if I am very careful about what I choose to eat (basically only fruit & vege), but I'm going to start slow, and definitely won't be able to go back as far as 50 calories again (both for blood sugars, and I don't need to lose weight that quickly). Slow and steady wins the race, and also doesn't fall into a hypoglycemic coma. I want to lose about 0.5kg/1 lb a week, so I should be able to achieve that if I'm maintaining on 1,200-1,300. In my first two weeks eating more, I lost weight both weeks on 800 calories, so I should easily be able to lose on it now.

Enough about numbers. For now.

My family are going into 'Weight Loss Mode' soon, as my Brother put it last night. I've mentioned briefly before, that both my Mum and Brother are overweight, and have health issues related to it. I'm a bit of a Nutrition Nazi and know it, so I keep my mouth shut unless I'm asked for advice. Mum sometimes asks me "how many carbs are in X?", or diabetes-related things like that, but I never comment or give advice unless asked. Since my brother was diagnosed with hypertension, the Nutrition Nazi in my head has been jumping up and down at his sodium intake.

Anyway, yesterday mum and I were sitting on the porch, and she mentions my brother's health. His blood pressure has been up again, he's still having trouble with his leg pain, his girlfriend is very tired of his snoring. The GP says that they're all weight related, and has been pushing exercise for a long time. But due to his leg pain he can't exercise, and the leg pain will only go away when he loses weight. Mum and I had a chat and I mentioned sodium to her, that a lower salt intake could help his blood pressure at least. Last night, my brother came into the kitchen as I was stacking my plate from dinner, and looks at the back of his pack of crumpets. "Ohhhhhh..." - 500mg sodium each. Then he looks at the jar of Vegemite, and I tell him it's surprisingly not that bad because he uses so little and it balances out a bit with the potassium. He said that it's damn-near impossible to stay under the sodium RDI on 2,500 calories. I agreed - it's very hard, but not impossible. His maintance calories are, indeed, around 3,000 while sedentary. For a shock comparison  my calories to maintain would be around 1,600 - if my metabolism were functioning correctly. If we both ate 2,500 calories, I would gain 1kg/2lb a week and he would lose 0.5kg/1lb a week.

I'm guessing the scales will be coming back out from hiding, at least sometimes. Mum is trying to 'get back on track' and my brother is looking at his diet for the first time. Either way, weight loss is in the air. I'm certainly not going to say that I'm going to restrict again because my family are dieting. I was planning to lose weight again anyway. I was going to wait another two months or so, but I'm having trouble waiting. Maybe one more week. I need to get plans and lists made and calculations done and make sure I've got a sustainable plan. The only trouble is, I don't know when to stop. I won't stop.


  1. Honey...
    I understand you want to lose weight, like, it's just a part of anorexia (though it's more complex than that), and I won't tell you to EAT like most people would. I struggle with disordered eating as well (something between anorexia and binge eating disorder, weirdly enough).

    I understand if maintenance drives you crazy, but it's probably not the only thing driving you crazy. One thing I've never really understood is that now as you've achieved what most people anorexics in recovery might want: maintenance. I mean they rather do that then gain weight. So if you start restricting to lose weight, you might be inpatient again or other things that might get you to a higher weight. Just think about it...

    ...which leads me to saying I do NOT know how you really feel, but hypothetically...

    I hope you get better one day

  2. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, be careful little bella boo, i'm so sorry that you're hurting so badly and i really hope your blood sugars stay stable xxxx