I saw the lovely GP again on Thursday, briefly, before I left in a flurry of tears.
She listened to my chest, and I still have a bad wheeze and cough. Honestly, I don't think it'll go away quickly; I've had it for a long time from heavy smoking. She doubled the dose for my inhalers, but is still hoping the antibiotics I'm on will work.
My blood test was much the same as last time, though my iron levels have dropped quite a bit. It looks like stopping taking supplements is finally catching up. She's asked me to start taking them again, but I'm hesitating. I struggle to take supplements, and do good things for my health, especially if I'm in a bad mindset. I feel it's hard to explain, but supplements and multi-vitamins and such have always been a tough one for me.
She also doubled my paroxetine (my secondary anti-depressant) once mum and I explained that my anxiety wasn't any better. She was under the impression it was, but I don't know why. I felt like it was impossible to explain that my anxiety is a severe issue. It frustrated me to no end, struggling to explain something that's effected me my whole life. I ended up having a panic attack and walking out, crying in the car.
I'm going back next week for either more antibiotics, or a flu shot if I'm feeling better. After that, I have fortnightly appointments for the next couple of months.
I'm still feeling as sick as I was last week. The past couple of weeks have been totally exhausting; physically, and emotionally. I've been in bed by 6-7pm lately. A combination of physical and mental pain means I just can't bear to stay up any longer, regardless of the fact I'm now lucky to sleep until 3am. Mum's sure I'll be getting more antibiotics on Monday. I've also been getting night sweats like mad, and having to change three times a night, which I've never experienced before.
My intake's been around 7-900 so far this week. Food is stressing me out beyond words right now. I don't want to have to think about what I'm going to eat. Lunch was my new regular, an apple and a muesli bar, and I have soup in the fridge to reheat for dinner. Routine is about the only thing I can deal with right now.
I'm waiting for the day to be over, from the moment I wake up.