Thursday, 11 April 2013

Pilafs, appointments, and pets (oh my!)

This morning, I finally agreed with my mother that I should see a doctor, so she called our clinic. Amazingly enough, I got the first appointment of the day with my lovely GP. She listened to my breathing, and immediately said that I have a serious chest infection. My fingers are visibly infected too. The mystery illness is solved - I'm apparently swarming with infections. I still haven't had my blood test done yet, but I'm on antibiotics again, once a day, which will hopefully get rid of all infections. She also gave me two inhalers. One to use twice a day, and another one for when I really struggle to breathe.

She also asked how things were going with the dietician (as if she doesn't know), and I kinda mumbled and said things were okay.
"What do you think about bringing in a third team member, someone to talk to? Not now, if you're not ready, but maybe in a few months."
I love that she doesn't pressure me. Neither does my dietician - they know I wouldn't come back if there was pressure. She said she knows someone who would be appropriate for me, and they'd even be able to come to my clinic to see me.

I still see her next Thursday, and then I can start tackling The List. The GP also said she'll give me a flu shot next week, as catching it would probably land me in hospital, though I'm too sick to have had the shot today.

I'm still struggling with the thought of eating closer to 1,000 calories, but I'm doing what I can when I feel able, and I'm trying to get closer today than I did yesterday (750). I haven't been cooking much, which zaps my motivation for food. I've been too tired the past week. Physically exhausted, emotionally exhausted. I'm a bundle of tears and anxiety. Family dinners are daunting, so I tend to avoid them a lot. Tonight we're having Chicken Kiev. Cringe. I haven't eaten it in years, but it's a family favorite that graces our dinner table nearly as much as bolognese. So I'm going to have maybe 1/4 of a breast (I'll see how it weighs up), and I'm making a garlic & pea pilaf to go alongside.

I've also been having some pretty serious pet therapy this week. It's been cold and rainy, and I've had my electric blanket on so I can sit on the porch. Now, my kitty absolutely loves electric blankets. She's been on my lap all the time, and today she's barely left. She's just so adorable, I had to share.



  1. OHMYGAWD YOUR CAT IS SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you don't know me, know that I love animals. so so so so so so so precious. I got to pet a pug last night. So cute. I love you hon, I hope the antibiotics work and you start getting better <3

  2. I'm really really proud of you. Truly. I know how difficult it is and honestly, I can't imagine the terror you feel. I get it too, but I don't think it's nearly that large and that's what makes me feel so happy you're trying!

    I'm sorry you're all sick right now but I really hope the antibiotics help. You really should get on something girl. Maybe some vitamins, vitamin c, anything. I know you told me you don't like supplements but you gotta give your body a little chance.

    Do your best with dinner okay? I know it's like a spotlight and it's terrifying and everyone is looking at you to see if you'll eat and what and how much and then they might praise you like you're a kid or they'll do that talk about anything but what you're eating and it's all painful. The thing about meals is that it unites people and brings them together intimately and that is a beautiful thing: a family showing love by sharing a meal. It's hard for us to see it as such but that's what it really is.

    Don't forget that I love you and you're in my heart dear. I really hope you get to feeling better and your kitty is absolutely adorable! I miss having pets being here at the dorm. I managed to have my lizard John for a year and then left him with Tony. :D
    Huuuuuuuuge hug beautiful!

  3. Hello little starshine,
    Milo is sending you a huge hug, to Boo too, as am I to you both :-P
    I'm glad you've been given the antibiotics, hopefully that'll make things slightly easier to handle when you're not feeling sick and full of infection. And it sounds like a potentially lovely idea to have a third team member, especially if the nice GP thinks she would be suitable so she may be easier for you to trust.
    Your kitty is soooo lovely!!
    I love you sooo soooo sooooooo sooooooooo much, and wish I had a teleporter so I could zap myself over there and we could watch dvd box sets with diet sodas under a duvet together and keep each other company


  4. I'm happy to hear you agreed to go to the doctors. Hopefully the antibiotics work their magic. I love how you GP was so nice about suggesting another team member when you feel ready. She truly is a gem of a gp!

    Glad to see you are working the "one step at a time" in increasing your intake. And your kitten is just adorable.

    Get well soon and keep us posted hun.

  5. I'm glad you're getting your infections seen to
    Your immune system is probably low and you don't want them to get any worse

    My dogs have saved my life over and over again
    I would be truly lost without them

    You are doing your best sweetheart and I am so proud of you
    I think of you like a little sister and feel very protective of you

    Love you lots x

  6. Oh my gosh, your cat is so gorgeous! She reminds me of my kitty. ^_^
    I'm sorry to hear about your chest infection, it must be so awful! I'm glad that you're going to the doctors though and getting it checked up on. I hope the antibiotics work and you start feeling better real soon! I'm really happy that you have such wonderful people supporting you, your doctor and dietician both seem like such sweethearts! I'm really proud of you because I know how hard it can be. I hope dinner goes okay, lovely. Hugs xx

  7. Good job pushing yourself to eat more! keep trying :)
    And I hope you get better soon! Being so infected sounds awful.

  8. Oh goodness! I'm not a cat person, but your little on is ADORABLE!

    I really hope you feel better soon, Bella. Take good care of yourself, and make sure to let others help :) So scary!

  9. When they say a third member to talk to, do they mean like a psychologist? I see one and I love her. It took like 4 to find one I connected with but now it's the best release. I don't need to filter, I can be brutally honest, get unbiased advice... she's really the friend I need to help me through EDNOS. I know it's scary though seeing any new health professional, especially mental health.

    I hope you feel better soon girlie. Stay safe and be strong :) xo

  10. I'm so glad that you went to see the GP! You are so brave and courageous! And I'm glad you got to see the GP that you like! I hope your inhalers and antibiotics get you better real soon! I hate to think of you being so poorly.

    Do you think you will decide to talk to a third team member? I used to have an amazing nurse I could talk to which really helped, so maybe you'd find it useful? But it sounds like you're trying so so hard to increase your intake. You should be so proud of yourself achieving this incredible success! Good luck with dinner!

    You kitten is just adorable! I just want her to fall asleep in my lap and give her a big cuddle!
    Stay strong! xx

  11. OMG KITTY!!!!!! D'awwwwwww <3 I love cats! Sadly, I'm allergic. I still love them though! Haha <3
    Pet therapy is great, isn't it? I swear I'd be dead right now if it weren't for my puppy. >_<

    Good to know you went to a doctor and they've started helping you! Taking care of yourself is really important <3

    Hope you have a fabulous day! <3

  12. Oh wow, that's an adorable kitty cat <3 :)
    I'm so sorry to hear that you're not doing so well. I'm glad you're getting the help for the infections. I just really hope you don't end up in the hospital from a cold or something. Just be careful <3
    Much love sweetie <3

  13. your FINGERS were infected? I've never heard of that, I hope it's not too painful! Get better so you can get your flu shot! Cute cat btw:)

  14. I think I might need some pet therapy myself. Ha ha :)
    Try to take supplements, so that you get a little bit stronger.
    Don't force yourself to eat if you don't feel like it and take a day at a time. You've got caring professionals by your side and that's great to hear!

    Here's the link to my english page