This morning, I finally agreed with my mother that I should see a doctor, so she called our clinic. Amazingly enough, I got the first appointment of the day with my lovely GP. She listened to my breathing, and immediately said that I have a serious chest infection. My fingers are visibly infected too. The mystery illness is solved - I'm apparently swarming with infections. I still haven't had my blood test done yet, but I'm on antibiotics again, once a day, which will hopefully get rid of all infections. She also gave me two inhalers. One to use twice a day, and another one for when I really struggle to breathe.
She also asked how things were going with the dietician (as if she doesn't know), and I kinda mumbled and said things were okay.
"What do you think about bringing in a third team member, someone to talk to? Not now, if you're not ready, but maybe in a few months."
I love that she doesn't pressure me. Neither does my dietician - they know I wouldn't come back if there was pressure. She said she knows someone who would be appropriate for me, and they'd even be able to come to my clinic to see me.
I still see her next Thursday, and then I can start tackling The List. The GP also said she'll give me a flu shot next week, as catching it would probably land me in hospital, though I'm too sick to have had the shot today.
I'm still struggling with the thought of eating closer to 1,000 calories, but I'm doing what I can when I feel able, and I'm trying to get closer today than I did yesterday (750). I haven't been cooking much, which zaps my motivation for food. I've been too tired the past week. Physically exhausted, emotionally exhausted. I'm a bundle of tears and anxiety. Family dinners are daunting, so I tend to avoid them a lot. Tonight we're having Chicken Kiev. Cringe. I haven't eaten it in years, but it's a family favorite that graces our dinner table nearly as much as bolognese. So I'm going to have maybe 1/4 of a breast (I'll see how it weighs up), and I'm making a garlic & pea pilaf to go alongside.
I've also been having some pretty serious pet therapy this week. It's been cold and rainy, and I've had my electric blanket on so I can sit on the porch. Now, my kitty absolutely loves electric blankets. She's been on my lap all the time, and today she's barely left. She's just so adorable, I had to share.