First of all, thank you to everyone for your kind comments on my last post. I normally never address nasty anonymous comments, but for once I will. Though, it's more for my lovely friends and followers, who I'm sure wonder how I react.
As a rule, I never acknowledge nasty anon comments in any form. I will not reply to them, delete them, or waste my time and energy dwelling on them. I could rant for eons at these idiots, but it isn't my job to educate them about eating disorders, and I won't waste my words trying. These people will never come back to read responses, and if they do, it's just feeding the trolls.
Prior to the comment on my last post, on Sunday I woke up to three nasty anon comments. On Tuesday, I woke up to two. They pop up all the time on my stats page, or posts with photos. If I let these comments get to me, I wouldn't be able to blog as openly as I do. I couldn't post such raw photos of myself if I didn't have the backbone to take the flack I might get. It's something I fully expected when I started blogging, and I won't pay any heed to these hateful grey-faced trolls. Basically, I don't let these comments effects me.
Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate.
That is all.
PSA aside, it's business as usual this weekend. My intake yesterday was 735 calories, and today will be around 400, give or take 10 cals. Today has not been good emotionally. I had my 100-calorie breakfast of Vegemite toast and strawberry yogurt, but I've not eaten since then. I'm going to will myself into the kitchen soon to start my nighttime 300-cal lineup of lamb soup, wholemeal bread, and later a Skinny Cow sundae.
I'm still deciding whether or not to see the dietician this week. I've told mum that I won't cancel the rest of my appointments just yet, that maybe I just need a week to calm. I guess it's more of a everything's-pointless-why-bother kinda thing than anything else.
I've also just started another course of antibiotics, a script the physician gave me in case the phlegm and pain for worse. I'm cutting back smoking, but not fast enough for my body apparently. My 'quit date' is before 23rd July, in an ideal world, so the physician won't kick my butt again at my next check-up. Currently I'm averaging 6g/day (it went back up to 7-8g last week), plus 5 or less cigarettes, so I need to cut back one gram/day each week to reach my goal. I'm writing down every gram, cone, and cigarette I smoke, so I'm actively aware of the amount. I know I can do it, I know I have to do it, and I will do it.
Determination is a hell of a thing.