Small steps forward

I'm finding it a little easier each day to distract myself with sewing. Just little bursts. Half an hour after breakfast, maybe another half hour in the afternoon. But I'm feeling motivated. The coffee table is covered with fabrics, paper, pins. I finished cutting out the fabrics for my coat today. It's a surprisingly hard job nowadays, maneuvering so much fabric and such big pattern pieces, so I haven't been going full-steam. I still have to do a few other bits n bobs first, but I should be actually sewing it by Wednesday. I think it's a hobby that might just stick (or re-stick). I've also been thinking of getting back into fashion sketching/design, for another something to fill the hours.

My intake was 620 cals on Saturday and 590 yesterday. Today will be similar. My small achievement for this week is that I've been eating five meals a day for the past few days, whereas I'd been skipping 2-3. I think it's important to keep myself distracted in some way before meals especially, so I don't have too much time to sit and let the negative self-talk brew. Mum asks me what I'm planning before each meal time, and we eat together, so it's not like I can totally avoid a meal. At the same time, if I say "nope, not eating lunch", we don't argue over it because it just causes stress on both parties. I'm eating basically the same things for each meal, but that's how it usually is. 

My menu at the moment consists of: wholemeal bread, Vegemite, cheddar slices, strawberry yoghurt, beef & veggie stew, lamb & veggie soup, animal cookies, chocolate custard. Plus coffee and Coke Zero.

Some good news on the smoking front: I'm set to be off the green stuff in the next week or so (fingers crossed it sticks!), which seems crazy, and I've been smoking under 5 cigarettes a day. I still have a month until I see the physician again, and I want to be able to go in a non-smoker (lest he again recommend I see a 'specialist' for my addiction). It's pretty exciting stuff. I started smoking cigarettes when I was 13, and I've been a daily toker for a smidge over three years now, so it's been a little while since I was last a 'non-smoker'.

Tomorrow morning I'm seeing the dietician, then she's away for two weeks. She's asked me to see the GP during those weeks so I have some support/routine, so I'll probably make an appointment when I'm there tomorrow. My biggest worry is about not being weighed for so long, though I guess that's just something I need to let go of for a few weeks.

xxBella