Saturday, 6 July 2013

A Fancy New Coat

I finished sewing my coat today. For my first sewing project in over three years, I'm pretty happy with the result. It was also my first time sewing a coat, and I was totally unfamiliar with a lot of steps. My favorite thing about it? It fits! Extra tall, extra small. I'm in love. I can't not keep sewing after wrapping it around my waist. This one's made out of gabardine, and I'll definitely be making a full-length Winter one in wool.

I did stress out pretty badly at several (many) points, and I was eternally frustrated at having to unpick and restitch so many things, though that can only be blamed on being a perfectionist. I can pick out a lot of things I haven't done quite right, but overall it's a good result.

On the food/weight side of things, my intake hasn't changed much, but the fear is immense when I don't have my dietician monitoring my weight and intake. I knew these few weeks with her away would be hard regardless, but especially now when I'm walking such a fine line and I need to make a change. For now I'm aiming for little goals, like not skipping meals entirely, and making sure I eat enough carbs each day to avoid blood sugar drops.

I want to work towards maintaining my weight again, though I admit it's for all the wrong reasons. I want everyone to stop watching me. At the moment I want nothing more than to run, hide, starve. But it's either eat a little more to maintain on my own terms, or be forced to eat a lot more to gain. I've dodged that bullet for two years now; I won't end up there again. I've gotta tap out, quit while I'm ahead, for lack of a better expression.

My next appointment with the dietician is going to be talking calorie goals and working in the right direction again. Now I just need to get through the GP appointment next week first, and I have no idea what I'm going to say. 



  1. Bella that looks so so professional :-) I am so so so so so so so so impressed! Maybe if you kept making things and kept motivated and distracted, eventually this might be able to motivate you towards weight gain (not yet, I know it's too soon and overwhelming at the moment) to go and study dress making etc like you wanted, you're amazing, I'd seriously buy your stuff and I'm sure many other would as well :-) I know this are incredibly thought atm but I'm glad yu have found some distraction for your days :) love you to the moon and back xxx

  2. OMG thats really sick of you. Its like you are just deliberately eating to make them not admit you. Like why must you still grasp so tightly on to ED? Its like so sick. You should be working on gaining back the weight you loss and getting rid of the being so sickly thin mindset isnt it? Dont you want to get better? :(

    like i see you always tell people they should eat properly and eat more and get rid of the anorexia but yet all u are doing is like starving and cutting ur intake and not even trying to get better. Its like so horribly disgusting that ur ED is making you feed others and make other eat more and try to mk others fat while u urself starve and eat the minimum.

  3. Oh Bella that coat is incredible, it looks so expensive and classy! I need a nice long coat like that, they look so good over dresses and skirts. Plus it's such a flattering shape with the waist, always a plus :)
    I have a hard time keeping myself motivated with food too... Little goals make it easier... Baby steps are much better than huge changes. And distractions help too, I'd feel so accomplished if I could make things like that coat! I used to make hemp jewelry all the time... Maybe I need to get back into that :)

    Also the anon above me.... I just don't understand people. They have no idea what they're talking about. Makes me so mad..

    I hope you have a day coat-ed in happiness today :) xx

  4. Bella, wow! That is such a beautiful coat
    I am so impressed, you are talented young lady
    It seems you just whipped it in days
    You know people like you who are skilled in this way are in high demand
    I can imagine you in your own little shop designing and making clothes from scratch
    I hope this motivates you to keep going
    To keep fighting and trying to live
    You are too precious

    Thinking of you today x

  5. The coat looks awesome. I would definitely buy it from a store without a second thought (if it fit me, of course).
    Good luck with your next visit! Talking about goals seems like it could help some with motivation. Or at least it'll give you some way to be held accountable for what you eat.
    I think these anons have decided to latch onto you and suck your blog blood. It seems like it's the same person coming back again and again too, which dumbfounds me because they act disgusted every time.
    You know your blog is so good it appeals to everyone, including people that pretend they don't like it ;)

  6. That coat is fantastic! :) I can't wait to see what else you stitch. xx

  7. that anon is a real douchemonkey, from the first six words i saw. that being said, that coat looks awesome. and i hope things work out alright for you, with your GP. just be careful, kay? xx

  8. Ahhh!!! Freaking awesome man!! You are so talented! I had no patience for sewing whatsoever. It's absolutely beautiful. I know things are hard right now but I know you have a side of you that is still clawing its way up the mountain. You should wear your coat to the dietician meeting! It's kind of like saying "eff you ED and every other problem I'm struggling with!" You are such a beautiful and kind person Bella. You've made me smile when I've been having some pretty rough days.
    I love you sweetie. Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis freaking much!

  9. What an absolutely lovely coat! Hope you can keep the sewing up, not only to make more beautiful pieces, but having a healthy outlet/hobby can be a lifesaver.

    Especially when you get to use the finished product for yourself and look damn good in it!

  10. It looks wonderfull Bella! You definitely need to keep up with sewing and showing of your masterpieces!

    I wish you all the best and strength for the week ahead. Hopefully things settle back to norm when the dietician gets back.

    Lots of love.

  11. This is incredible! You did such an amazing job.I can't wait to see more creations from you. x


  12. Who the eff is that anon. Fuck off and leave bella alone.
    That coat is stunning my dear, you should be very proud and impressed with yourself. I am so happy for you my dear, you are wonderfully creative, talented and unique.

    All the best xxx

  13. *These stupid thoughtless anon comments really make me mad for you Bella*

    I just wanted to let you know how AWESOME you are! This coat is seriously amazing!!

    Hugs xxxxx

  14. Holy shit. That coat is absolutely gorgeous. I wish I could create something half that amazing...


    Please take care of yourself

    Wow that anon is really stupid o_O Want me to beat them up for you? ^_^

  15. Oh wow... Oh... WOW!
    That coat is gorgeous! :D You are talented!

    I hope things become a little easier for you soon sweetie <3 A little less stressful. Just please take care <3