It's Tuesday. Again.

I saw the dietician this morning, though it was one of those weeks where I just wanted to stay home and not engage with the world. The past week hasn't been great, and my intake reflected that. Each day has been anywhere between 550-930 calories, with most days around 700.

She weighed me early on in the appointment, whereas normally it's left until last. As she typed the numbers into the computer, she said she's "not a happy camper". My weight dropped again. Mum cringed. I felt nothing. I tried to make light of things, saying it must be the extra calorie burn from the crutches. 

We talked quickly about my foot after she read the notes left by my GP. I only made it off the crutches yesterday, determined not to need them for my appointment this morning. It still aches and twinges and has limited mobility, but it's a lot better than it was a week ago. 

That said, I have a huge black bruise on the underside of my foot that I noticed for the first time this afternoon. Combined with the fact I'm still having trouble bending my toes, it might be time to go back to the GP. 

Anyway, the dietician said I'm not to have a single day under 1,000 calories this week, that it's increasingly important to start raising my intake. I'm also supposed to rest and stay off my feet as much as I can, but honestly, I don't think it's possible to be less active than I already am. I spend most of my day sitting, it's not like I go running about the house. In the kitchen I sit at the bench to prepare food, or just to make a cup of coffee, even when my foot isn't injured. I told her this. She suggested I start asking mum to make my coffees.

I know what I need to do to raise my intake, it's just a matter of convincing myself to actually do it. I can plan my days to eat 1,000 calories, I just don't eat it all. I'm wondering if it's time to enlist Ensures, but I think I'll give it another week.

As I mentioned, the past week has been pretty intense and crappy, hence the lack of posting. I can't even explain.

Mum called my GP yesterday, told her I was still manic, and she upped my Seroquel to 400mg. The GP said she was going to be asking another professional for advice regarding my medication, which makes me nervous as hell, but apparently that's happening in the next few weeks. Hopefully it'll lead to some form of stability. 

Here's to a better week ahead. 

xxBella