Ta-da! A kitty.
I had an epiphany of sorts the other day: that nothing really matters. But not in a woeful way. It's like something clicks, and I realize: Eat, don't eat, it'll all be the same in the morning. Go on a cooking marathon, don't enter the kitchen, the obsession will still be there tomorrow. Hungry, full? Who cares. None of it actually matters, and the realization filled me with a bizarre giddiness. I don't know what triggered it, but it feels good.
Yesterday I was very distressed, and couldn't keep together enough to cross stitch. It was not a good day. I'm so glad I'm seeing the lovely GP on Tuesday. So, I finished it today instead. Sorry it's not much to look at. I've spent hours cross stitching and, apart from yesterday, it's kept my worries at bay. I'm starting on another tomorrow, which is bigger and more detailed. For now at least, it's proving to be a great distraction. I haven't even given a thought to food until mum prompts me to have my next mini-meal.
My intake's been sitting comfortably around 500, and I'm hoping to see some downward-action on the scales this week. The dietician is away for a seminar on Tuesday, so I'm seeing her first thing Friday instead. It's become cold and rainy, so I timed it well for making a batch of soup. I'm also drinking much more coffee again, in a futile attempt to warm myself up.
And I'm still avoiding it like the plague, but I know I need to weigh myself soon. I've lost at least a couple of kilos in the last few months, and I couldn't be more than 45kg (BMI 13.1), maybe even a little less but I don't want to get my hopes up. I did some quick measurements the other day, and they've gone down a bit since October. I'll do a proper measure when I (eventually) weigh, and update my stats then. It seems like I'm always waiting 'just two more weeks', ugh.