Sunday, 10 March 2013

Last night I drowned my sorrows in a half bottle of wine, after spending the day spontaneously bursting into tears. Today I'm worrying about the potential weight gain, so I don't intend on repeating it. I never drink this close to being weighed. My mum reminds me that my weight's been on a 'downward trend' for a while, but I'm still horrified by the thought of gaining weight for a second week in a row.

It's been too hot to have soup for dinner every night, so I've been making my super-light Caesar salads too. For 90 calories, I get;
- 75g cos lettuce (13)
- 4g Parmesan cheese (17)
- 14g Weight Watcher's bacon (13)
- 12g wholemeal bread (baked into croutons) (28)
- 20g homemade dressing (19)
A little goes a long way, and that half ounce of 98% fat-free bacon is the most meat I ever really eat anymore. Honestly? At the moment I struggle with the texture of meat, chicken and fish. I used to add egg whites to my salad, or sometimes chicken breast. Either way, it makes a perfect cold dinner on a 35*c night.

So far today I've had a slice of wholemeal toast with Vegemite (65), an apple (59), some grapes (64), and some more grapes (100) (they're in season, and I'm making the most of it). I'm having a salad for dinner, and a either a pudding cup or some ice cream before bed (90-100). Plus coffee and diet soda, I'll be a little under 500 for the day. Today, my sorrows are just drowning me.

Mum bought me a cross stitch kit today. Reason #417 why I feel like a geriatric. It's a simple little kitten with a bow. Something to keep my hands busy, I guess. I haven't started it yet, but expect to see a picture when I'm done.

As always, my eternal thanks to everyone who's been reading and commenting. Blogging and reading your blogs is truly the highlight of my day. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'd be completely lost without you lovely ladies.



  1. Knitting or stitching are a great way to keep your hands busy for sure. I've noticed that it's when my hands are free that I tear at my skin. Saw your comment about using tweezers; I do that too, never thought anyone else did! I also poke and prick at them with my pencil and sometimes with sewing needles. My roommate thinks I'm insane. I do it on other places on my skin too. Apparently it's called dermatillomania.
    Anyways, I have finally made it through your blog in its entirety! So sorry that it took me so long, I've just been reading a few posts every day. But know that now I know your story and I'm very happy to keep reading.
    Take care, hun, and be kind to yourself.
    Lena xx

  2. I love love love you Bella, I've sent you a little parcel of things to keep busy/make you smile, I dont think it'll be sent tip tomorrow morning because I got to the post office last min. I hope it helps and dont feel like you need to send anything back, i know it can be overwhelming, i just want the parcel to cheer you up for a morning xxxxx

  3. Hey Bella :)I tried cross-stitching once, but I just don't think I have the patience. If I recall, I sent it flying across the room after five minutes. Good luck and lot's of love
    <3 Wren

  4. I drank sooooo much last night... I threw up probably four or five times but I'm still afraid of the weight gain... for food today I had some yogurt, honey, an apple, a few bites of chicken and some broccoli. None of it's bad but of course I was feeling bad the whole time.
    I'm thinking of you dear.I know right now is a difficult time for you.
    Lots of hugs and lots of love.

  5. Dear Bella,
    thank you for your comments on my blog! They mean so much to me.

    I love cross stitch :) I'm such a perfectionist that other crafts drive me crazy, but going in and out of holes there isn't too many opportunities to mess up! Keep strong beautiful x

  6. <3 Thank you so much for reading my blog. It's nice to have nice comments and readers. ^_^ I'm sure you understand. XD

    Please be careful?

    Ahaha I had a little alcohol semi-problem this past week (it was spring break)... it's like when I'm around alcohol, I just stop thinking logically and need to drink. >_<

  7. Lots of young people like to knit and sew and stitch. One of my friends crochets scarves for everyone as gifts. Don't feel bad :)
    One of my friends became a vegetarian and now his stomach can't handle meat. I guess look for other sources of protein if you can't stand the texture (if you're trying to add protein, that is).
    Good luck being weighed :/ try to keep your head up even if the drinking does make the scale register an extra pound.