Thursday, 28 March 2013

Reach down low, touch your toes (plus 800 days in a row)

My desire to eat is dwindling by the day. Food simply doesn't interest me as much as it used to, in any way. My mood has been plummeting, and I'm setting a course for self-destruction.

My intake has been good. Or bad, depending on who you ask.
Tuesday, my usual 'treat' day after being weighed, only reached 914 calories. Yesterday was 436 cals, consisting of a slice of wholemeal toast, nonfat yoghurt, two apples, a mandarin (clementines, for you non-Aussie folk), grapes, and a super-light Caesar salad. Oh, and a metric tonne of coffee. I can't say I've exactly been trying to eat more. I told mum I would try today, so I'm cooking bolognese and drinking tonight. I bought a bottle of Penfolds '07 Shiraz on Tuesday, but spent all day crying and didn't trust myself to drink. So I'll be pushing around 1,000-1,200 calories today, followed by four days of routine (500-800 cal) before I get weighed.

A little achievement... for the first time in my entire life, I can touch my toes. It only took me 20 years! Sorry it's such an awkward photo. I've never been able to do it - I think my height's always restricted me (I'm 6'1", with disproportionately long legs), though I'm not too sure why I can suddenly do it now.

And on a random note, yesterday I reached 800 days in a row on MyFitnessPal. This has got to be some kind of record for this app (any challengers?). It's more than two years of faithful calorie counting. My dietician was gobsmacked. Through hell and high water, I haven't missed a single day.

Sorry for such a disjointed post. I've been completely emotionally drained these past few days, and haven't exactly got much to say.



  1. Woooo!!!!! I think I can still touch me toes... wait I'll have to check tehe, but then I am between 5"3 and 5"4 so I reckon it is a bit easier for me lacking nearly your extra foot :-P And I've been writing my intake exactly for 2 years and nearly 4 months religiously, before that it was hit and miss if i had a binge i wouldn't acknowledge what it was, i haven't used fitnesspal for a while tho, but i go on to check nutritional info of something most days :-)

    I haven't binged in... nearly 4 whole weeks!!! just 2 more days and i'm 4 weeks bigne free. that's longer than since I started purging years ago after the restrictive period ended!!!!!!!!


  2. Wow! 800 days in a row! Think the longest I ever made it was three months before getting distracted by something shiny.

  3. Hooray for touching your toes!!! Wow you're almost a foot taller than me, that's cool. And 800 days is insane. I feel like I speed counting a long time ago, though I have recently been using calorie count because it had a lot more foods I eat, so that works. Try not to feel too stuck. Maybe look up some recipes to try and give interest to food, it seems like you loveto cook. Take care hon.

  4. Yay for toe touches! you should try yoga now, in now time you'll have your hands on the floor haha :)

    800 days is crazy. imagine how much time we put into these apps if it was all added up. I'm glad you're trying to eat, even if it's not for yourself.

    kudos to knowing when to drink and when not to, I'm still working on that.... last weekend I cried in my room all night after a bottle of wine. eek.

    stay safe! and as far as being emotionally drained, do something for you! a treat. not involving food or exercise or whatnot, something neutral. shopping or a manicure or a night of your favorite movies :)

  5. Bella if you received any weird emails from me please ignore them
    Emails are being sent from my account and I haven't written them
    If you did get one please let me know

    Hope you're ok dear friend x

  6. Hey hun I hope you're feeling better today. You are definitely a tree! :P
    Take the food in stride and think of it as fuel, not punishment.
    Love you lots and lots! huuuuuuggeeee hugs

  7. 800 days in a role? Holy crap- nice job! (I suck at doing just a week in a row!) As a side note: if you're Aussie, I just wanted to go ahead and say I'm probably going to love your accent :D.

    I wish I was that tall- at 6'1" AND being able to touch your toes is awesome (I can't even do that). You're kickin' it with the elves and I'm Miss Shorty von Short from The Shire!

  8. DAMN 800 days?? That is crazy awesome!

    I've been wanting to drink too. Even had a bottle chilling in the freezer for about 2 weeks now. But I'm worried I might get depressed and eat too much while drunk:/

    Are you trying to get more flexible or did you just realize that you could touch your toes now?

  9. Nice job on the toe touching! I am so not flexible! I have a goal this year to learn how to do the splits...haha! Who knows how that will go :D Anyways, 800 days on fitnesspal is an amazing feat! Seriously! I lose steam after a week ;) Thanks for the Marilyn Manson song suggestion! I haven't listened to much of his stuff but I've watched a few interviews he did and really enjoyed them!

  10. Go you, both for the toe-touching and the 800 days!

  11. congrats on the toe-touching! it took me 20 years to learn too :') 800 days straight, wow that's awesome. i'm impressed! wish i had that level of commitment :) sorry you are feeling so drained, i hope you feel better soon. lots of love and support! :) xxxx

  12. Wow, that is a really long time. Not a single day?? Not even while on vacation or camping or something?? Wow.
    I hope you can force yourself to eat more. I know you know you should, and I know it's hard to keep up the motivation to do it. Good luck! I hope you feel better soon.

  13. The BEST think I EVER did in recovery from anorexia is delete and block MFP app. It was the first glimpses of freedom I felt and move away from calories. Two years later - I get urges to download it - and start logging in again, getting proud of eating as little as I can. But really? How many days of my lie did I WASTE on that website - too many - I hope you can break free too - and I really hope you manage to stick with your dietician - I've put my TRUST in her and have restored 10kg, have a BMI in a healthy range and got my calories back to 2000 a day (ish, although I don't know exactly) and YOU can do it too.... Keep fighting AND increasing because as you increase calories, BMI and weight, your life will grow too.