Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Christmas Wrap-Up

I'm so sleep deprived from the past week, I'm having trouble piecing time together. I've been so anxious, constantly on edge. It's really been like a week-long panic attack. I've had far too much to do, and insomnia came back with a vengeance  I can't even close my eyes, and I can't explain how I'm feeling. I've barely slept all week, and spent countless hours cooking & cleaning. Last night, I got two hours sleep after staying up for over 24hrs. It's now 12:30am, the day after Christmas. I'm completely fucking wrecked, the past week has been truly horrific. It's a miracle I made it through today without going completely psychotic and throwing food around, really.

My new display picture
I'm going to post a proper update tomorrow when I'm more rested, but for now I'm just going to keep it holiday-related.
I felt pretty today, having put on make-up for the first time in months.
Since I had people calling me 'healthy' after I posted my hair dye pic, I decided to change my Facebook profile picture for Christmas. I'm so tired of seeing that picture, remembering those words.
My chestbones are more visible lately, like bam, whereas I've stuggled to see them in the past.

Flouncing around in my second-favourite apron
As I've mentioned before, I'm cooking for Christmas again this year, eating for the first. Everything I made was horribly disappointing.
We'd decided to do two meals today instead of three. A roast in the afternoon, as is traditional, and a buffet brunch (which I've never done before). I'd also done a lot of baking in the last few days, though I won't post them all.

I made a buffet brunch for our first meal. We had:
  • Bacon, Cheese & Chive Muffins
  • Ham & Cheese Croissants
  • Nutella-Stuffed French Toast
  • Sausages & Bacon
  • Brunch... Everything went wrong, and
    close-ups weren't worth it
  • Pancakes (with whipped cream, whipped butter, cinnamon sugar, strawberry jam & maple syrup)

Later in the afternoon, I made a roast.
  • Garlic & Thyme Roasted Chicken, with stovetop stuffing, trussed (I'm quite proud, though last year's looked better)
  • Roasted Carrots & Potatoes with stuffing, garlic cloves & thyme springs
  • Homemade Gravy
  • Crusty Vienna Sourdough

I have spent ridiculous amounts of time baking in the last week. There have been plenty of cookies and nibbles, though I do have two honorable mentions:
  • Pa's Chocolate Sponge
    • Pa's Chocolate Sponge
      Choc Mint Cheesecake
    • This was a huge achievement. I swear, my grandfather had been looking down on me and laughing. He used to bake us a sponge every week up until 1-2 years before he passed away. This was my first ever success at his recipe, after years of failures that had sunk or cracked. I was so happy, I could've cried.
  • My Great Aunt's Choc Mint Cheesecake
    •  This isn't a hard recipe at all, but they just looked gorgeous. I made them in bread roll tins, which were the same shape as a cheesecake dish. Topped with peppermint cracknel and whipped cream. Too bad I don't like cheesecake.
I didn't get to try a lot of the things I cooked - in fact, a lot of them I don't even like.
I've put in marathon efforts in the kitchen, pushing myself far too much. But my family have very much enjoyed being spoiled rotten this week with their favourite recipes. I've been so busy, I didn't even get the chance to get excited about Christmas, and I never want to see food again.

As for presents? I got the World's coolest toy - a customizable Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Yes, you heard!
My brother gave it to me - he is seriously awesome (last year he gave me WoW gold, shortly before I quit). I opened the stand for it first, and saw the word "Aperture" on it. I leapt off the couch, and started jumping up and down screaming "OH MY GOD! PORTAL GUN, PORTAL GUN, PORTAL GUN!". 
I mean, come on. It's pretty damned awesome.

The gamer in me has really come back out today. Portal was one of my favourite games, and I'm going to be re-playing it tomorrow (probably twenty times). My endlessly-awesome brother, upon telling him I hadn't played Portal 2 yet, bought me Portal 2. So, if I go AWOL for a few days, you'll know where I'll be. I've always been very obsessive in everything I do, and gaming is certainly no exception. I need a distraction more than anything right now.

I'm majorly tired. I'm looking at a beautiful crash back to 500 calories tomorrow, filled with sleep and gaming no doubt. I'm so glad the week's over, and I'm utterly dreading my weigh in on Thursday, though any excess weight will be gone within weeks - I guarantee. I think I've completely snapped this week.

I'll update properly tomorrow - I'm just not functioning right now at all.
 Ladies, I'm exhausted. Tomorrow could not come soon enough - the return to normality, restriction and regularity.



  1. I'm glad there were some positives (namely gun portal) to a very stressful week, and I'm proud of you making it through, even if it has been a huge struggle. I can't wait to go to 500kcals too. I love you xxxxx

  2. Well done for making it through Christmas Bella
    I just about made it through too

    Love to you x