Friday, 7 December 2012

I feel so light and floaty lately. It's lovely.

Yesterday after I skipped lunch, I spent the following few hours in bed smoking (I had an anxiety attack making my sandwich and ran into hiding). The light-headed, dizzy, empty feeling from skipping a meal changed. It effects me more when I haven't eaten enough. Hunger feels like power, and sickness feels like freedom. The world doesn't exist.

I got a much nicer picture of my hair today. The wind was also being super convenient. It's such a nice deep burgundy.

I posted it on Facebook to try and interact with people more, and got some good feedback. One creepy guy (who I used to hang out with) sent me seedy messages, and one bitch said I look "really healthy". I deleted that comment so no one would get any ideas. I'm sorry that my face doesn't look as underweight as the rest of me, and that I carefully chose a picture that doesn't accentuate my weight issues. I want my fucking cheekbones back.
Apart from that, all the feedback was good.

So I'm feeling semi-confident about myself today. I don't know, I just feel good. I've actually been slightly productive (i.e, not in bed all day) the past couple of days, and I feel good in myself. Fingers crossed I can get a few more good days before I crash into a heap.



  1. You look great !
    And I'm so happy that you are feeling good. It's so important that you actually feel good in our one skin for once .
    Xx Jo <3

  2. so for Christmas I would like your hair please thank you very much :-P it is so beautiful.

    i soooo understand wanting cheekbones bacl. they are the thing i creepily rub to see whether, in a moment of panic, i have lost them totally or whether they are there. yours are amazing tho, very defined :-)


  3. That hair color is so bold and beautiful (and flattering!) Glad you're feeling better/good today, miss.

  4. Your hair is beautiful, wish mine was that long at the front. I have so many stupid layers nowadays that the hairdresser keeps chopping it, it doesn't long as long as it actually is. The colour is amazing too! :D

  5. You're so pretty Bella, and your hair is lovely <3
    Alice xx

  6. I think you are quite stunning. Your eyes are old, but your face is so young. You look like what a faerie would look like, if they were real.

  7. Waaa you look great!
    The wind in your hair gives that impression of the models in fashion magazines :)

  8. You look so beautiful. I saw this photo on facebook when you posted it, and I almost commented, but then realised it might be hard for you to explain to anyone how I know you, haha.
    Your hair is so beautiful.
    Please take care darling, I worry about you so much.

  9. Love your hair! Mine is almost the exact same colour :)