I think I've figured out what's going on, if not why.
I've known it's not just anxiety or depression. I'm not going through a particularly rough time in terms of Anorexia thoughts, and it's not PTSD either. It's been something entirely new and scary.
I think I'm having a hypomania episode, which I don't think has happened before. I think it's what I've meant when I keep saying I'm losing my mind. I don't know what else it could be.
I'm not euphoric or having delusions of grandeur (I wish), and I'm not psychotic either. I'm somewhere in the middle: irritable & anxious, but it's more than just anxiety.
My thoughts are racing, in a million different directions and I can't seem to focus. I'm edgy, and I keep snapping at mum or breaking down in tears. I keep rambling on and on, it's like word vomit. I can't sleep more than 3 hours a night. I noticed the other day that I keep shaking or tapping my foot, which I've never done before. I can't explain it, but I do not feel like me at all. Something's just not right.
This is the best way to explain how I feel: I feel manic. I still don't know why. There was no trigger, it came entirely out of the blue. Its been nearly two weeks. Mum is very worried, she wants me to get help with it. I've struggled with mental illness my entire life, but I've never had a manic episode (except for drug-induced psychosis, which this is most definitely not). It's entirely new, and it's very scary. I
I don't think I'll be posting for a day or two. I simply am not in the mind to. I'm hoping it'll just pass soon, but I do not feel like myself right now at all.