Things are not good. I'm still not sleeping. But that's because my mind's been running too fast for me to shut my eyes. I just can't relax, my mind is running for no reason and I can't get my thoughts straight. I'm thinking about everything and nothing. It's driving me mad. I don't know what I'm thinking or feeling. I'm so on edge it's unbelievable. I want to cry all the time and I often do. I've been getting angry at the smallest things and self harming every day. My thoughts are erratic, and I feel like I've been making absolutely no sense. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I don't even know exactly what I'm feeling. I started feeling this way last Tuesday or Wednesday, and I haven't slept more than 3 hours a night since. It's been nearly two weeks. I thought it was because it was the week before Christmas, but it didn't go away. There was no trigger and there is no end, it's a constant 24/7 feeling. It just came out of the blue.
I am just edgy all the time, can't get my thoughts straight, my mind is running, I'm jittery, I can't focus, I can't sleep, I can't even relax, and it's making it worse. I feel like I'm completely losing my mind. There's no reason to be feeling this way, whatever 'this way' is.
I'm sorry that I'm just making no sense at all lately. I don't know what's going on. I'm trying to explain what's going on but I really don't know. And now I'm crying again. Fuck. It's not normal anxiety. I've ever felt like this before. I'm losing my mind.