I nearly didn't make it to my appointment today. In fact, I'd gone back to bed in a flurry of tears. After some nudging from mum, I ended up going to the appointment 5 minutes late. My dietician said she was wondering why I wasn't there yet (usually we're there before here), and that she'd be very worried if I didn't show up one week.
Understandable, after having seen her for six months now, first appointment every Tuesday without fail.
My mood's been plummeting at a rapid rate this past week. I just don't see the point in even talking any more, so I guess I haven't been online as much. The last three days have been spent sobbing non-stop. I really don't want to talk about why.
I told her my intake had gone down to 600 - still the same amount of carbs, but practically non-existent protein and fats. After a lecture on the dangers on inadequate protein intake, we went down the hall to the scales. My weight had dropped - hallelujah.
So I made it through the week without a hypoglycemic fit, just. On Sunday, I got very dizzy, lost my vision and started shaking. I made it to a chair just in time. I don't think mum noticed, and I of course said nothing.
Yesterday was very hard. I ate my usual breakfast at 8am, and sat in bed crying my eyes out for the next 12 hours. By which point I had racked up quite the carb-debt from skipping so much. I just couldn't eat enough to get it in. I had a bowl of rice for some dense carbs, and went to bed barely making 400 calories for the day.
I'm trying to put my intake back up to around 7-800, and my dietician really wants me to as well, but I don't know how it'll go. I don't want more.
I just need to fade away.