I only realised yesterday that I've been slowly losing weight for 2-3 months now. It just hadn't sunk in yet that I'm actually losing weight again.
I looked back through one of my little notes, and my last gain/upwards fluctuation was one week in September for no apparent reason, and it went back down the following week. Since then, I've been losing weight most weeks, with a handful of times where it's stayed the same.
It seems surreal. The past few weeks I've been able to see and feel the difference. And when I look back at pictures from only a few months ago, I can definitely see a change.
I'm going to get on the scales at home soon, for an accurate weight (I doubt I'd be more than 100lb/BMI 13, when I think about it). I just need to make sure my head's in the right place before I see a number. I also need to re-measure soon - I have a feeling my waist is whittling very close to the 20" mark.
I feel like I'm losing my mind. I want to laugh and cry and scream, all the same time. Self harm has become a daily event again, as have panic attacks and breakdowns.
Restricting is the only thing keeping a slim grip of my sanity. It's my only relief, that I'm slowly shrinking.
I am so very tired of everything.