Friday, 28 December 2012

I only realised yesterday that I've been slowly losing weight for 2-3 months now. It just hadn't sunk in yet that I'm actually losing weight again.
I looked back through one of my little notes, and my last gain/upwards fluctuation was one week in September for no apparent reason, and it went back down the following week. Since then, I've been losing weight most weeks, with a handful of times where it's stayed the same.

It seems surreal. The past few weeks I've been able to see and feel the difference. And when I look back at pictures from only a few months ago, I can definitely see a change.
I'm going to get on the scales at home soon, for an accurate weight (I doubt I'd be more than 100lb/BMI 13, when I think about it). I just need to make sure my head's in the right place before I see a number. I also need to re-measure soon - I have a feeling my waist is whittling very close to the 20" mark.

I feel like I'm losing my mind. I want to laugh and cry and scream, all the same time. Self harm has become a daily event again, as have panic attacks and breakdowns.
Restricting is the only thing keeping a slim grip of my sanity. It's my only relief, that I'm slowly shrinking.
I am so very tired of everything.



  1. I've been loosing weight for the past week and the feeling is just addicting. To look into the mirror and see my skin cave into my ribs more and more everyday.
    I hate looking back at pictures. I'm always loosing and gaining :/

  2. I hope your okay sweetie. I worry about you. Lots of Love xx

  3. I want to cuddle you and keep you safe so bad, see why I got you boo tehe! I know you're having a really crap time and I'm worried about you getting your own place, but at the same time totally understand why you want it. I wish there were a way to make things better and okay, life sucks, doesn't it xxxxxxxxx