Sunday, 9 September 2012

Life is one big anxiety attack

I've hardly gotten out of bed this weekend, to be honest. Since mum left yesterday morning I've really only gotten up to make my mini-meals. A little under 500 yesterday - my lowest day in three months. I'm not having the greatest time, but I know mum needs a break, so yeah. I'm pretty anxious about my intake, but my sugars seem to be holding around 4 so that's okay for now. I'm smoking way too much when I feel like this, so I really need to get back on track on Tuesday. I'm having my planned rest weekend, and gonna run tomorrow to finish up my burn for the week. I'm freaking out over that damn 0.6 I gained last week. And to be honest, I don't even know what I'm gonna eat once I'm back to 1,000+. Since my calf muscle freak-out the other day, I decided to keep my protein back under 40g (every equation says 35-38g to maintain my muscle), which isn't much. The other day, I ate 800 cal of toast, oats, veggie soup, rice, veggies, and a little tub of yoghurt and got to my protein limit. Goodbye, family meals. Goodbye, teriyaki chicken breasts. Goodbye, eggs and cheese. So obviously I need to talk to the dietician lady on Tuesday about how much protein I should be eating, because this is just shit.

Also, today was my 600th day in a row using MyFitnessPal. It'd be longer except I didn't know that only entering water 'doesn't count' when I started using it. But, yay! I think.. Ugh. My life is fucking sad


1 comment:

  1. Great post Bella. I came across your blog while I was reading online about the symptoms of an anxiety attack and I'm happy I did because I love posts like this. Thank you for sharing your story with us.