Crying to my mum. She was yelling at me. My brother burst in and told me 'maybe some time in the fucking Swanston center will calm you down you fucking loon' (that ward is always the threat). I need to get out of here, and then I will die. I knew he hated me. No one wants me aroubd. Heart rate 170. Intake 250 cal by 4pm.
Hand me a knife, please.
Mum doesn't even understand why this has hurt me so much. This is the straw that broke the cow's back. I'll be dead by new year. JB was right - my family are tired of me and want me gone. They're leaving me. mum needs space away from me a lot more than she ever has before. I don't plan on leaving my room or eating much in the foreseeable future. I just can't even.. I can't stop crying. I can't do this. I just need this to be over.
EDIT: Thanks so much for your comments guys. I had a chat with mum before and things are a little calmer. Still not sure how this weeks gonna go for intake, but I guess I'll post again after seeing my dietician and getting weighed