Sunday 15 July 2012

I'm so glad it's Sunday. I had my last higher-cal day for the week yesterday, so today and tomorrow are only <700 :) I feel like a pig whenever I eat 1,000+, but it means I run like a beast the next morning, and I don't have to stress about getting my calories up. I'm sure I'll gain this week, but then it's just time to go back to 850-900ish for a while. I don't feel like I've gotten anywhere - still having higher days so I can have my lower days, except the amounts are higher, but I've lost a little weight. So no complaining here. I want to keep losing, though. Just slowly... I want to get back to 45kg soon, then we'll start talking GWs.

So far this week (my weeks now start/end with my dietician's appointment on Tuesdays), I've run three times. 90 minutes on Wednesday, 90 minutes on Friday, and another hour this morning. All up, I've run more than I have been each week since I started with my dietician (normally 3 hours, sometimes 4). I much prefer running like a boss every second day, instead of puttering along with 30 minutes a day. I've just been loving my runs lately, and not wanting them to stop. I only stopped earlier this morning because my friend was coming over, and I wanted to make myself look pretty and tidy the house a little (I also forced breakfast in, so I don't throw up in front of her again :x). She was texting me while I was running, and my heart just felt like "Okay, play it cool... BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM!" So much anxiety D:

We smoked a bit together, which obviously helped with the anxiety. So that was a challenge for the day. We talked briefly about my ED, and she told me her weight loss is mostly from smoking too much bud, but she went through a phase a couple of years ago that lasted a few months where she just stopped eating, that she was hungry but couldn't eat. So yeah. Enlightening conversations.

I then slept most of the afternoon :) I nibbled a bit when I got up, and made my Caesar potato for dinner, which was awesome. My smoking's picked up pace a little the past week, though I'm not too worried. I've been smoking more at nights and none through the day, so it makes for relaxing evenings. But two days this week, I smoked for most of the day, plus smoking during the morning with my friend today. I don't have the money to start smoking all day every day again, so yeah.

So that's about it. I'm running a lot, and hung out with a friend today. Huzzah.

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