Wednesday, 20 June 2012
Haven't eaten since lunch. Too fat. Too depressed. Sugars are plummeting. Haven't gotten off the couch since lunch. Self-harmed too many times/ways/places to count. I can't eat normally on 800. I need to restrict to 200 and actually feel good about it, or be able to actually eat normal amounts and run like fuck and not gain, and I can't even eat 800 without gaining. I need to get these tests done to see why I gain, but before the gain happens, because then I need to lose it again anyway. I'm not sick and I don't need help, and I don't need to gain weight. I want to die.