To keep my sanity (and life), I came up with a new plan. Mum is going to blind weigh me this morning, then next Sunday morning. No numbers, but she will tell me if I've gained or lost over the week. This will (hopefully) give me the peace of mind that my intake is okay, that I can still lose/not gain weight, and will also give me motivation for the week ahead! After a few weeks of hearing 'loss', hopefully I'll have the confidence to know a number without needing to kill myself because I've gained.
She just weighed me.
She asked me to get on a second time.
Clearly she's in disbelief at how fat I really am
Carb load/depressed binge today. Starving and running like mad Monday-Saturday. Apples, soup, jelly, berries, melon, tea, coffee.
This has given me motivation for the next week. 200 cal a day is the limit. For now, I'm going to eat more today than I'm going to in the rest of the week.
Better get it out of the way while I still can.